"Strategery" Session

 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Prov.19:21  

Recently Becky (our caregiver) and I wrote an article for the newsletter for our Alzheimer's ministry group at church.  We called it "Logistical Strategies."  It's about adapting to the changes in our loved one.  I'm happy to share the content here because there are many photos of what we are doing to make things easier.  If you are reading this because you know and love someone with dementia, I hope this is super helpful.  If you are reading this because you love Gary and I, thank you for caring.  L.P. 

Logistical Strategies

(from the Alzheimer's. Ministry Newsletter, Grace Community Church)

Changes ahead.  Seven years ago when Gary was diagnosed with A.D., I knew changes were coming.  I knew Gary would get worse, not better.  I knew I didn't want to embrace the unfamiliar.  Wise friends and loving family have advised me at every step of the way to face the facts, accept the inevitable and try to be "ahead of the game" with our preparations.  There have been scary moments, but always, I have found that God  is right there guiding us along, and a constant companion.  Most of the time, by grace, I am able to bask in the security of God's good providential care.  "I will never leave you or forsake you" He said.  "I will incline my ear to you, when you cry for help" and just like David, He has been listening to me and caring for Gary and I. 

Life has not been without it's "tumbles" and "messiness" at times, but overall, we have continued to "adjust" to the NEW and DIFFERENT, which has given comfort to Gary and peace to me.  Be kind to your Loved One by adjusting his/her environment to suit him/her, give the gift of time to your family and friends by simplifying your life, and save own back by making use of equipment and lifestyles that fit your new phase of life.  Everyone's needs are different of course, but now that Gary is in Advanced Stages, we've been through a lot and want this personal look to serve as a visual aid in your planning and strategizing for your loved ones. 

Becky's photos and comments give the care giver's perspective so together we'd like to encourage you.

The biggest change was a new home.  One that I could manage.  I wish we'd moved sooner.  Generally, I'd say make adaptations sooner rather than later so your L.O. (Loved One) can adjust before the disease progresses.  Try to stay ahead of the needs. 

So, to you, friend, I say..."Welcome.  Come on in and I'll show you around our house!"

(Use the arrows at the edge of each photo below to advance to the next one.) 

Ramps for wheelchair or walking. (Note portable ramp at side. Handy when visiting others.)

Ramps come in all shapes, sizes and materials and some are removeable.

Comfy, washable chair reclines...

...OR rises at the touch of a button to save the care giver's back.

Pleasant Surroundings with space for mobility equipment, a comfortable chair for me.

Eye catching images geared for Gary's interest are included in the wall décor. Door to bathroom was enlarged for ease of access.

Gary's view...Favorite TV viewing includes video slideshows with scripture, scenery, and hymns, a gift from the grandchildren.

Seasonal art to remind Gary of the time of year.

Laminate floor facilitates easy rolling of the Hoyer Lift, used to lift Gary into bed if needed.

Here's how it works.

Wondering where to start?  A wise person said...Ask yourself..."WHAT'S THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN?"      

"This question will force you to look at the worst case scenario then work back from there.  It's forcing yourself to look at what could go wrong and finding strategies to do your best to prevent this."  

Take for example the tendency for falling which is usually the first symptom that something is amiss.  What is the worst that could happen?  A fall and hip fracture.  What room in the house is this most likely to happen?  Bathroom perhaps.  So we take steps to get rid of the throw rugs, we install bars etc.  You get the picture.   Whatever solutions you come up with, you've faced the worst possibility and now have ideas to stop or delay it becoming an eventuality.                 

Grab bars, shower wand and shower chair, keep loved ones safe and secure.

With my twin bed snuggled up against Gary's hospital bed, and with matching bedspreads, beds are disguised as a King. There are railings on each side of Gary's bed for when he is alone.

When Gary is in bed, I can work on my laptop, talk on the phone and reach over and touch him. I hope my voice and activity is somehow comforting to him. Being near Gary is comforting to me.

Some of the health aids I found online, some through friends, or home improvement stores.  Many Senior Centers have volunteers who will install handrails, and ramps. Medicare provided some of the equipment too.  You don't have to make all the changes at once.  Prioritize the things you need and get the most pressing needs covered first.  When you must adapt things in your home, embrace the idea.  Look at change as an adventure.  Have a discovery attitude. 

"If you are a saint, God will continually upset your programme,

and if you are wedded to your programme,

you will become the most obnoxious creature under heaven,

an irritable saint." 

Oswald Chambers, Running Today's Race.

Photos by Becky S. and Article by Becky and Laurie

"I gotta get me some SKILLS!"

Two big changes are on the horizon.  I am not looking forward to either of them.  One is going to happen quickly, like flipping a light switch off, and the other one is more like a dimmer switch, being turned up and down erratically.  The instant change is going to happen in about 2 weeks.  The other one has already begun. 

Change Number One:

Our dear Jason, who has served us so unselfishly for 6 months, is going to be leaving.  His work needs are changing, precipitating his move back to Florida.  I can't say enough about his kindness to us by doing all the "heavy lifting" for me.  His jokes with Gary, his professional care for him, and the laughter will be missed.  He has become like one of our own. If you haven't read the amazing story of how he came to us, Click HERE. 

Becky and Karl, on one of their many walks with Gary. 

Change Number Two:

Gary's needs are changing too.  Alzheimer's Disease is different with everyone.  With Gary there have been some plateaus, but mostly it's been a steady progression of decline.  As the years have rolled on, (7+ now) the progression seems faster.  It has been a month since Gary has said anything to me.  He rarely looks at me.  He is only awake about 6 hours a day.  But the worse thing seems to be his balance, and maneuverability.  The mobility issues are having the biggest effect on me.  A person alone has a very hard time walking Gary from one room to another or helping him get seated.  Standing him up is lifting dead weight.  Once on his feet, he can go for a walk with support on each side, but inside the house, it's all scissor steps, distractions and confusion so a single person has a difficult time walking him. 

So Now What?

The caregiving is going to look different and the team is going to be bigger.  ("We're gonna need a bigger boat" JAWS)  I'm using the last couple of weeks with Jason here, to try several things.  He is helping me with the transitions.  We have new equipment, and procedures that I must get proficient with.  We are trying new schedules, by condensing activities.  I am trying new "locations" for Gary during the day.  Ironically, by trying out new methods, I'm getting sore muscles, or feeling overwhelmed because of all the wasted motions, or wrong way to do things.  I'm learning though,  by tweaking HOW I do things, and in what order I do them, it's getting easier every day.

Figuring Things Out

I thought some may be interested in the process so I'll try to share some of it with you.  If you have a loved one in an advanced stage of dementia, you may find it helpful, and if not, please pray for Gary and me.  I am in great need of wisdom and grace.

Rolled up blanket to simulate torso.  It's actually very comfortable and I think Gary enjoys riding in the "hammock." 

This is a Hoyer Lift.  It's the first one I've ever seen.  If I can get proficient using it, work out the logistics of where to keep it, how to move it around, and how to place Gary in just the right place on the "hammock", then I (or any caregiver) can use it to get Gary into and out of bed, and into a wheelchair.  Without it, you need two people.  (Tried it again this morning and it was much easier than last time!)

I still have a twin bed pushed up next to his.  I'm resisting moving them apart.  Love being near. 

Gary's hospital bed is on the right.  He has actually had it for awhile, but now it's getting more use.  Giving him dinner in bed eliminates the long difficult walk to bed at night when he's sleepy.   I am learning to use the controls and the side rails to my advantage, to protect my back, and Gary as I help him with various things. 

In pulling up a movie for this photo I came across Driving Miss Daisy.  Well, as usual, it sucked me in and I've had it on in the background all morning, and yes, it still makes me cry at the end.  Especially now.

This is a bed table.  We watch a movie, or live streaming with our dinner on the laptop.  Well, Gary listens, and I watch while I feed him, because he has his eyes shut during meals.  Don't know why, but I suspect it's too many senses going at once and he can shut out sight easily.  After he eats, he usually watches with me for about 30 minutes.  I treasure this time with him because we are doing something "together."  After I brush his teeth, I sit next to him on my bed, and work on a project or read till he falls asleep at about 7:00.

This is my pile of notes.  After a family conference a few weeks ago, we decided that I need to tackle 3 areas.   

1. Gary's well being.  What must be done, to promote his...

PHYSICAL comfort and safety

MENTAL stimulation, security, and relationships

SPIRITUAL life

2. Laurie's well being.   What must be done, to promote my...

PHYSICAL health

MENTAL stimulation, security, and relationships

SPIRITUAL LIFE

3. The finances needed to pull this off!  The Guys (sons-in-law), will help me figure this part out.

Next, I put an activity with each section.  For instance, for Gary's Physical comfort he does best with at least one 15 minute walk each morning, certain foods, and lots of naps.  To keep him safe, he can't be left unmonitored ever, and must always have 2 helpers for walking, etc. 

Time and schedules come next.  Once all our needs were written out, I needed to lay out a weekly schedule fitting caregiving into time slots. I've been brainstorming with our existing caregivers, about the changes I'm trying before I settle on a schedule.  My goal is to have the schedule figured out in a few days, so I can start lining up more help.

This is only a fraction of them. 

Getting there...but still using pencil so I can erase. 

All For Good

We recently had a short visit from our daughter, April.  It was a precious time.   I don't know what I'd do without the help and encouragement of our family.  I am not in this alone.  I am confident that ALL these changes will work out for good for us.  I'm reading a great book on Romans 8:28 and plan to write a review for my Blog soon.  Being in the hands of God is a good place to be.  I'm just doing the next thing, which right now is to get Gary moved to the bedroom.  "Hoyer Lift, I will take charge of you!"

A couple times during April's visit we could tell Gary recognized her. 

There was a special visit with my parents who live across the street.  Here's 3 of the generations together.  My dad's 95!

I had a wonderful time on my birthday weekend with Sarah and April at the beach for a couple of days.