Delayed, Disappointed, Confused?

It's a favorite of mine...Psalm 25.  In my Bible, it’s got underlines, and notes in the margin.  I'm drawn back to it when I have decisions to make or am feeling overwhelmed.  The first time in my life that Psalm 25 had a huge impact on me was 12 years ago, when I was fighting Stage III cancer.  David’s prayer-song has been a comfort to me ever since. 


Many of you know my mom went to Heaven in July.  We are adjusting to the “new normal” with her gone.  My dad is lonely, in frail health, and though we enjoy being together, our short visits are limited since I can’t leave Gary alone.  Being responsible for my dad's care, is a weighty thing. 

Over the last months my health has been threatened with headaches, weight gain and overall tiredness.  My father broke his hip (now healed).  My mother died.  Gary has lost more weight, is now unable to walk and is confined to bed.  He no longer seems to recognize me or others. 

A recipe for depression?  Yes, BUT then God ministers to my heart .  God will NOT let His own be "put to shame."  In Hebrew, that means disappointed, delayed or confused. 

Now…let me walk through this precious Psalm and share my heart as I go…Ok?

1 To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

You’ve got my soul Lord.  All of my inmost parts.  Again I give myself to You.  You have my attention.  Nothing is beyond your concern, care and plans.  You are large and in charge. 

2 O my God, in You I trust, You are worthy of my trust! 

Do not let me be put to shame;

Don’t let me be delayed…Help me to pace my emotions & energy knowing that Your timing is perfect.

Don’t let me be disappointed…Let me see glimpses of the wonderful things going on in the midst of things not turning out the way I expected.

Don’t let me be confused…Give me clarity in the face of much information and many opinions.

Do not let my enemies (the enemies of my soul…Satan and his demons) exult over me. Don’t let them have the last laugh by discouraging me.

3 Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be put to shame;
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be put to shame.

What a sweet promise…that if I “wait” for You to act, I won’t be “delayed, disappointed or confused.”

4 Make me know Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.

I want to do what you would do, Lord.  Let your love and wisdom flow through me.

5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me, 
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.

Keep me always learning from your Word because You are the One who saved me.  I'm eagerly looking to You for direction and help for the two frail men I love.

6 Remember, O Lord, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they have been from of old. 

Show Your compassion to Gary and my dad.  Be merciful to us. 

7 Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
According to Your lovingkindness remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord.

Lord, You are using the pressures and stresses of these days to reveal sin, lying beneath the surface in my heart.  You are good to do so.  Please forgive my impatience, and pride.

8 Good and upright is the Lord;
Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.

You are SO GOOD, to point me in the right direction.

9 He leads the humble in justice,
And He teaches the humble His way.

I’m incapable, inadequate, often wrong, and proud.  Keep me humble in order that I can follow Your lead.  

10 All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.

ALL the paths…I’m so encouraged and comforted by this promise that everything You do, is merciful and true.  There is no unkindness or deception with You God.  Your ways are good, even these current difficult days. 

11 For Your name’s sake, O Lord,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.

Because of who You are, You forgive.

12 Who is the man who fears the Lord?  He will instruct him in the way he should choose.  His soul will abide in prosperity, And his descendants will inherit the land.

So many promises, to the one who fears God.  “He who fears God, has nothing else to fear.”  Spurgeon  Wisdom in decision making…Everything my soul needs…Care for my family...

14 The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.

And more...Intimate relationship with the Lord and promises KEPT.

15 My eyes are continually toward the Lord,
For He will pluck my feet out of the net.

I want to keep looking to God for everything because he’s going to rescue me from temptation.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.

God, give Your grace to our family as we experience loss and suffering.  It is hard to see my dad and my husband like this. 

17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.

My problems seem big to me but to you they are not.  Save me from MY actual distresses, and from "feeling" distressed. 

18 Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.

Give your attention to the problems I’m facing.  Forgive those sins of worry, doubt, and trying to do things in MY strength.

19 Look upon my enemies, for they are many,
And they hate me with violent hatred.

Deal with the unseen but very real enemies of my soul, for I know they want to discourage me and wear me down.

20 Guard my soul and deliver me;
Do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in You.

Keep my soul safe as you bring me all the way to Heaven one day and don’t let me be disappointed, delayed or confused, because I’m going to hide in your protective love.

21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.

Build integrity and righteousness into my life and let them keep me strong and protected because I’m choosing to wait on You. 

22 Redeem Israel, O God,
Out of all his troubles.

You are the ONLY answer to the troubles of this life.  We look to You eagerly anticipating our marching orders and asking for Your help every day.  Help my resolve when I am weak.