Sunday would have been our 51st Anniversary. We married between Christmas and New Year’s, in between my semesters at CSUN. My dad and Gary jokingly teased each other about who would get me for a write-off in 1974. My dad kindly encouraged us to marry on the 28th, and Gary got the better end of the deal, being just 3 days away from 1975.
We were married 40 1/2 years but it’s been 10 1/2 years without Gary. Since he’s been in heaven, I always do some smallish thing to celebrate our marriage. This year it was sharing cheesecake with the family the night before, and on the special day, at home, I replayed the audio of our wedding while looking at the photos. It was a very cold and rainy day in 1974, not unlike our weather this December, when Pastor Travaille led us through our vows to each other and to God. No matter what, we were “all in.” He laid out the truth that life would not always be easy, but that whatever would come, God would be with us, and we could find peace and joy in all of it together. In hindsight, he was right. The challenging trials came, and the Lord was with us, giving us His strength together.
I had fun looking at the photos of the mid-70s styles that seemed so perfect at the time. And there were mishaps too. I almost took a trip to the ER on the day of my wedding. See my bandaged finger in the photo? One of my bridesmaids and I were making ham sandwiches for an early lunch on my wedding day, and slicing the leftover Christmas ham, too excited or just plain klutzy, I sliced toward my left hand and cut my finger. I probably should have gotten stitches, but that would have seriously messed up the day, so Vicki and I used direct pressure, and wrapped it tightly with bandaids. 51 years later I still have the scar if you want to see it. I survived, and was so overjoyed at marrying my sweetheart that it didn’t matter. Thank goodness for being able to carry a bouquet, so no one knew, and this is the only photo I know of that showed it. The worst part was everyone at the reception looking at my new ring, and squeezing my fingers! Yikes!
My mom and I made my dress, after a practice dress made of muslin, and we took her wedding dress apart to use the lace for my neckline and the satin fabric for her blouse. All the bridesmaids spent the night before at my house, and we made the fresh floral wreaths for our hair. I used my parents’ cake topper and then my daughter, Sarah used the same one. Each time we painted the figures with appropriate hair color. I love its 50’s look.
Our reception was very simple, just cake, punch and coffee right there at the 1st Baptist Church. We spent our wedding night in our Sunland home, and woke up to snow on the mountains! Perfect for a skiing honeymoon trip. Gary was a wonderful husband and of course I miss him, but since he died I rarely cry over losing him. As I’ve said in the past, Gary departed slowly with 9 years of Alzheimers, so most of my grieving was during those years. When he finally passed into glory, my grief turned into peace and joy. But every once in a while, I’m struck with the emotion, usually when I least expect it. For Christmas this year, Sarah and Ryan gave me a mug and an ornament from June Mountain where we had a few days of skiing on our honeymoon. When I opened it, I wept tears of missing Gary and thankfulness for the reasons I do.
I remember Gary told me when we posed for this honeymoon photo that he wanted to grow old with me like these two trees. I love that they put this picture in the little frame.
Enjoying my wedding audio and photos got me thinking about the brevity of life since in my mind’s eye those events are so real it seems like yesterday, yet it was 51 years ago. I think the reason older people say life goes faster every year is that we clearly remember certain things so they seem recent. At church on Sunday, my pastors explained what God has to say in His Word about time and our relationship to it especially at the end of 2025. These were a few of my take-aways. Maybe you can relate.
1. My body will wear out gradually or quickly so how should I spend today with my current situation and limitations?
“You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” (James 4:14) Life is like a “long shadow” (Psalm 102:11), a “vanishing cloud” (Job 7:9), a “breath” (Job 7:7).
“As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear (revere) Him, and His righteousness to children’s children.” (Psalm 103:15-17)
2. Time is fleeting and should be valued. I can never get a do-over with a day. Lord help me to make the most of the time I have been given while I live in this world.
“…be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16)
3. Right here and right now, I have much to thank and esteem God for, with my whole self. My heart’s desire is to be all in.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits. Who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.” (Psalm 103:1-5)
The Bible says we “don’t know what a day will bring forth.” None of us know what 2026 will be like, but God does, and He has promised to shower His own children with lovingkindness and compassion no matter what comes. There’s a curse on this world because of sin and so there’s loss, death, sorrow and trials this side of heaven. The beauty and joys of heaven, and no more tears, await those who acknowledge their need God’s mercy and forgiveness and that only by His work on the cross can they be part of His forever family and I can’t wait to get there, whenever God decides the time is right.
Last week I dressed up like the ghosts in “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens for a Christmas party. This picture of me dressed like the “Ghost of Christmas Present” is a silly reminder to live in the PRESENT, remembering we can’t go back or forward in time. My prayer for 2026 is that I live each day as if it’s my last.
