(A quick note here before I get started... Our family wants to say a huge THANK YOU to those of you who came to Gary's celebration service on Saturday. It was a truly wonderful morning. Your presence with us was SO SPECIAL and my heart is about to burst with things I want to say about the morning. That's for another post. If you had to miss the service, it was recorded, and I'll let you know when it's available.)
Not sure what it will be yet...but right now, am basking in God's love, remembering my amazing husband, and thinking about the future. In the three weeks since Gary's departure, many of you have asked me this question...
"So what are you going to be doing now?"
Now that my number one love and ministry is not needing me anymore, my life is going to look a little different.
One thing that struck me yesterday, is that the faithfulness of God has not diminished just because Gary is not here with me anymore. God was faithful and good to Gary. That was evident in his life. The same faithful and good God is MY God too. I am excited to see how He will display that in MY life in the years I have left.
I don't know the details yet, but I do know some things for sure... I want to spend more time with younger women, encouraging them to live lives pleasing to God. (Titus 2) I am looking forward to more time with grandkids so I can help them along the way as I enjoy them.
"Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons." Deut. 4:9
As I move into my new role as a widow, there will be things to learn and discover. Gary would want me to embrace it, and try to see God's work in my life. There will be grief, but that is normal. I will try to seek comfort from the Lord.
In my home, Alzheimer's Disease is gone but I'm not walking away from those who are suffering from it. I'm going to have more time now to help with our Alzheimer's Support Ministry at church. I intend to continue making the little instructional videos to encourage care givers, and provide other resources as well.
I stood on our favorite beach yesterday, and cried, because the final chapter of Gary's life is finished, and I miss him. It won't be the last tears, but there is peace in the missing. It's so hard to explain and if you are a Christian, you know what I mean. It's a deep-seated joy and comfort that comes from the One who gave His life in exchange for mine. He said He would never leave or forsake me and he hasn't. He said nothing would separate me from His love and it hasn't. Gary is gone, but I am not alone. I'm anticipating a closer relationship with the Lord, and new opportunities to see His grace and love in my life.
I know there will be aspects of my future that will be really difficult but not impossible. As you can see from this photo from Gary's Bible (Romans 8), nothing can separate Christians from the love of Christ. In verse 38 you can see that includes DEATH. Gary has died, but lives on. He is fine. I am fine. I'm very much loved by God, because I'm in Christ.' v.39
There will be joyful and sad discoveries, strange new feelings, and things to learn in these next weeks. I'm wanting to bring you along this next part of my journey too. Thank you for caring. Thank you for listening. I love to share with you and hope to continue doing so.