Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Gary with Sarah

I know this is nearly impossible, but:
WHAT IF our children never heard a swear word?
WHAT IF they never saw anything scarey?
WHAT IF they never saw or heard about marital infidelity, or promiscuity?
WHAT IF they never ... (you fill in the blank)

WHAT IF this were true for their whole lives?
WHAT IF they learned from a young age to turn their eyes away from evil and habitually guarded their lips from speaking sinfully?
WHAT IF they could live in a bubble of truth?

Not completely possible I know, BUT IF one day, after many, many years of living in a sinful world, they were to develop Alzheimer's Disease or some other form of dementia, in which the brain's wiring is "crossed" and the neurons are not firing correctly, THEN perhaps there would be LESS frightening images for them, LESS violent responses, LESS profanity, confusion about spousal faithfulness, and accusations about such.

I'm no doctor, and I am NOT casting judgement on anyone who does exhibit these changes in personality/behavior due to their dementia.  It is not their fault.  Before the disease, they WERE able to control their thoughts,  and keep them in the right "category" in their mind prior to their illness.  They WERE able to control their speech and actions.

BUT I'm just thinking as a parent, what would I want to do to help my child, who will one day grow up, live their life, and possibly have dementia one day, to keep their mind saturated with truth, not error.  There are many things on TV, Movies, Music, Video Games, and even gossip, that we must be discerning about.  Just being able to "categorize" it as sin, may not be enough.  Let's do what we can to keep the mind pure, so that if it is attacked with confusion one day, there is less ugliness stored there which can become the material for a horrid existence as well as spill out on others. 

IMPORTANT COMMENTS:
1. For some reason, up to this point, this hasn't been a problem for Gary, even though, prior to his salvation, he had seen much of the "worldliness" I am talking about.  But we know of many who do love Jesus, and who have spent their lives serving him, who, because of their dementia, have had a difficult time with personality and behavior changes.  AGAIN, I am making NO judgment on them whatsoever.  I am only wanting to motivate parents to help their children filter what goes into their mind in the first place.

2. As Christians in a fallen world, we will need to occasionally look evil in the face, for example counseling someone overtaken in a sin, or in defending and protecting the innocent, etc.  There are times when it is unavoidable, but we are cautioned, even then, to be on guard.  Galatians 6:1

"I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten it's grip on me.  A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil." Psalm 101:3-4

Give Thanks

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks unto the Holy One

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us"

This song is not hard to understand.  It's easy to remember the lyrics.  It's soothing to my soul.

He's given Jesus Christ, His Son...

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" God did the most unimaginably difficult thing ever in the entire Universe.  Because of that, I am the beneficiary of ALL THINGS for now, and eternity.  I'm given EVERYTHING I need to LIVE and live OBEDIENTLY. (2 Peter 1:3)

Let the weak say I am strong...

2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'  Most gladly therefore I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."  I have nothing to bring to the table.  No strength, no resources, no character, BUT because of GRACE, I have the Holy Spirit inside me giving me the strength to do what He calls me to do. 

Let the poor say I am rich...

2 Corinthians 8:9 "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

Rich with Ephesians 1 riches!  Jesus set it all ASIDE so that He could share it with ME!

Here's a link if you aren't familiar with the song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtxmSAqMtDA

Enduring Love

This morning, I had been invited to share our "story" with a ladies bible study at a nearby church.  They had been studying "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things." from 1 Corinthians 13:7.  In particular they asked me to talk about how to love tenaciously, with endurance, as an illustration of "enduring love."  To prepare for my part of the morning, I studied the same passages the ladies had been studying.  I found the study to be challenging and convicting to my own soul as well.  Here's why.

During the teaching time, I learned that this verse, "enduring" is a military term that means to "hold the position at all costs."  This takes courage.  I confess, I do not always feel courageous.  We were asked to choose an example from Scripture who exemplified enduring love.  The obvious choice is Jesus Christ. 

• John 3:16 - This love gave the most precious possession, God's beloved son for me.
• Romans 5:8 - This love sacrificed (to the maximum) for undeserving me.
• Romans 8:35, 38-39 - This love perseveres and is secure through great difficulties and can NOT be removed from me.
• Ephesians 3:17-19 - This love surpasses knowledge and completes me.  It roots and grounds me. 

We were asked to think about loving someone who we used to be close to that is now difficult to love. Gary is not a “difficult” person to love.  Unlike some with Alz. Disease, he is not angry, or upset, or awake all night, etc. But he IS silent, and completely dependent on others for all “activities of daily living.”  He may speak only a few times in a week, and it isn’t always easy to understand what he is trying to say.  Sometimes it is challenging to love with endurance.  It's true for all of us.  It doesn't matter what the cause of the difficulty is.  It can be a wayward child, or unkind spouse, or someone who is the source of great pain.  The reasons may be different, but there are several things that may be universally true for everyone....

• When love is not reciprocated and there’s "nothing in it for me." 
• When there’s no feedback or encouragement to keep going.
• When there’s no end in sight.
• When I'm exhausted.
• When prevented from doing what "I" want
• When Spiritually dry.

So, how DO you love with endurance?  Well, as I said, I was convicted by Jesus' example.  I often fall short. But lately I've been learning 3 things:

• I have to ask God to strengthen me – to understand and know His love – to love others and glorify Him (Ephesians 3:14-21) When I am facing a "giant" of a difficulty, if I try to operate in the flesh, then I respond in the flesh when things don’t work out MY way.  The solution is NOT in my ability to muster up the energy, or reorganize, or plan ahead, or anything I come up with.  Only by really learning and knowing Jesus' love better, am I able to love Gary.  

• I have to ask others for help.  It’s impossible to do it all myself.  When I try to, I get exhausted, anxious and overwhelmed.  I struggle with wanting to be in control of how to care for Gary, and now that he is needing so much more physical care, some of which I am unable to do, so I must entrust him to others.  This is hard for me, but I see it as God graciously helping me to release him in stages.  I can love Gary best by letting others help.

•   I have to remember that Gary is still Gary.  He has a soul that is alive and well and God is continuing to grow him.  He has emotions that feel.  I try to maintain our relationship and respect for him by spending quality time together and sharing my life with him regardless of his lack of responses. This includes asking for his forgiveness if I become impatient, and trying to make decisions in the way he would want. And sometimes, though not often, I still get a look or a touch that lets me know he loves me.

What practical things I do we do to show our love to others?  For us, beyond the daily care...well these are always fun to share.  Here's a few...

• Photo memory books (see blog post called "No time for perfection" 
• Bible verses on 3 X 5 cards (I write out a simple portion of a verse being preached on in church for Gary to hold and read.  I use a sharie pen and write big.  I do the same thing with songs, writing out a phrase or two.  very simple, and big)
• Going for a drive through the mountains, or a stroll through Descanso (Botanical) Gardens, or walk around Bridgeport Lake, or a pastry at Panera Bread.

What struck me, while sharing this morning, as I looked around the room at the ladies, was the fact that everyone there, seemed to be relating, not necessarily to the Alzheimer's disease, but their OWN situations, and the people in their lives that require an ongoing strong love, in the face of difficulty, no matter the cause.  May we all look to Jesus, and beg for strength, never forgetting that He understands our weakness and wants to empower us "according to His great riches in glory." (Eph 3)

No Time For Perfection

I'm up to my eyeballs in a BIG project, and here's how it started:  I have often needed to put my hands on a photo, to remind Gary of an old friend, or event that I'm referring to.  Not TOO tough for the more recent years because of photo albums, but for the first 10 years (or so) of our marriage we shot only slide film.  Great for family picture nights, but now, setting up the projector, and finding the right image, would take so long that the thought would be lost, so I figured having them on a disc would be much quicker. With one disc per year, and the different events in separate folders, I can locate a photo MUCH quicker.  

Once I decided to do this, I thought, how about getting some of these great memories into simple photo albums that Gary can enjoy any time.  SO, thanks to Shutterfly.com, I am ordering 8" X 8" Photo Books.  I'm done with the first 3 years, 1977 is in the mail, and 1978 is almost ordered. 

I been reliving some fantastic memories of babies, vacations, friends, home improvements, and family times.  It takes FOREVER to organize the slides into groups, and get them scanned, BUT it is worth it.  Then creating and captioning the book in a way that is simple and easy to read for Gary is icing on the cake.  When the first one arrived in the mail box, (1974, the year we dated and married), it was like Christmas in my heart.  When your loved one has lost so much memory and the long term memories last the longest, the prospect of sharing some of them in a way that he will understand is so exciting.  So often I will hand Gary a book to look at, or a magazine and he seems disinterested, so I didn't know what to expect when I laid the Memory Book in his lap and began turning the pages.  He picked it up and really looked at each page.  I am SURE he was understanding.  We were sharing some special times again.  Me talking about them, and Gary looking at the photos.  I know he still reads short sentences, or phrases, so I purposely made the captions simple.  I sent one with him to the Adult Day Health Care program he goes to so the health care workers could know him better.  They loved the book and being able to talk to him about his life.  I plan to send the other books from time to time as well.  When "1976" arrived and I showed it to him, page by page  he said, "That's comforting."  That was the only thing he said to me that day that made sense, but it was enough.

Now for a big lesson I've learned, and a link to a good book.  I need to give a bit of background so you'll understand the impact this little book had on my life.  I actually LOVE to organize things.  Even though my desk doesn't show it, I like things in their proper order.  One of the reasons my desk has stacks is that each stack needs to be dealt with, and filed, and I still haven't completed the file relabeling project I started last year.  That is because I want it to be "just right."  That's a problem I have.  Sometimes I don't get things done, because I want to do them "perfectly" so I sacrifice excellence and order in the meantime.  I tend to over organize, and plan, plan, plan, and not get to the DOING.  Furthermore, when it comes to a final product that has anything to do with "photos" or "art" I want it to look GOOD.  Well, when it comes to Gary's memory, I believe that "time is of the essence."

The Lord introduced me to this insightful book, at just the right time.  It is a short, easy read with wonderful principles that any woman would benefit from.  I HIGHLY recommend it.  It helped me let go of my idol of Perfectionism, and put together some little books, that may get torn, finger printed, food stained, and have photos that are less than perfect, or may be missing some of the prettier scenes.

The author sheds light on common idols that we can be tempted to worship.  Perfectionism, Busyness, Possessions, and Leisure.  You will see yourself in this book.  It really helped me out at a time I needed it.  I hope it helps you too.  It is called The Organized Heart-A Woman's Guide to Conquering Chaos by Staci Eastin

I got mine on Amazon.com but I think you can buy 6 copies for a good discount direct from the publisher:  http://CruciformPress.com

If you would like to, please leave a comment in the "Post a Comment" section.
Thanks!

Agape Love

We go to a large church, but that doesn't hinder love.  On Sunday morning, while seated in our Fellowship Group, several men came to Gary and greeted him with a kind touch.  There would be no handshake or eye contact from him.  No visible sign that he even noticed.  These men received nothing in return, and in fact risked looking and feeling a little silly.  "Hi Gary, it's great to see you today!"  "Hey, Mr. Price, Good Morning to you!" Some of these guys are in our smaller group Bible Study, and have spent some time around us.  Some are new friends that we have met since the dementia, so they fall in to the short term memory loss time period.  A couple of them have known us for a long, long time, and remember Gary from before, a clever guy, who loved Escatology, and always had a practical joke up his sleeve.  In fact, one of these guys used to meet with Gary for discipleship.  Now, when Gary looks at them, if he does, it's not clear if he recognizes them or not. But it doesn't matter how long we have known people, the body of Christ, reaches out to us.  A new friend offered to come visit Gary last week, and ended up looking at photo albums with him.  Gary was more interested in how the album opened and closed (a 3 ring binder) than reviewing the photos, but our friend sat with him to give companionship for an hour while I had an appointment.  Another friend spends time with Gary during our monthly A.D. ministry meeting at the church.  This Saturday he took him for a walk, with his arm around Gary for support, talked about the things they saw, chatting and joking away, while Gary said nothing.  Gary may or may not be understanding, but he is hearing a man's voice, and spending time with men.  It is awkward to talk to someone who does not respond, but these men, who love Jesus, love Gary because Jesus loved them first.  They are offering a cup of cold water in Jesus' name to "the least of these".  I have never been so grateful!

"Don't seek to add years to your life, but rather add life to your years."

In honor of Gary's birthday today I want to share some of my happiest memories.  We are here on Planet Earth for such a short time, in light of eternity.  Some of us have the privilege of sharing some of those years with a spouse.  I pray we would ALL seek to find joy in the good things God has given us, and not waste time with a critical spirit, or wishing for something we do not have.  God gives good gifts to each of his children.  May we be grateful for them in the present.

Happy Birthday, Gary!

H - Happy - "For he will not often consider (much remember) the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart." Ecclesiastes 5:20.  Our pastor, Jon Rourke, said on Sunday morning, that "The most blessed man is the not the one who has the most, but the one with the capacity to enjoy what he has."  Gary learned to savor things.  Cinnamon rolls, moss, and steel drum hymns. 
A - Arguments -When our daughters were about 6 and 4, and they decided to argue with each other over a toy, or whatever kids argue about, Gary instituted "5 minute hugs."  The timer was set, and the girls had to hug each other for the allotted time.  What began as miserable intolerance, always ended up with laughter, and cooperation. 
P - Proper Manners - Table manners were HUGE at our house.  For some reason, Gary, even though a construction worker by trade, would not tolerate talking with food in your mouth, interrupting at the table, reaching across the table for the serving bowl, forgetting to place your napkin in your lap, or worst of all making "mouth noises" while eating.  The girls, (and both Gary and I as well), would be warned one time, then "thrown out the window".  Fortunately, we had a window, that was low to the ground, and one could be lowered down, but the first time Gary said, "If you do it again, I'm going to throw you out the window", it was met with big eyes.  Especially when we had guests over for dinner.  When we remodeled and changed the windows to the type with screens, the consequence morphed into going outside and counting to 100.  I confess I too have spent some time on the front porch during some meals.
P - Practical Jokes - Smoke bombs wired to honeymoon get-away cars, sink faucet spray nozzles wedged to spray the victim when the water is turned on, "Bedwetting" treatment ads left on the windshields of friends in the church parking lot.  The list is long.  Gary's friends also knew how to "pay him back".  He once got a call from the local Marine Sargent Recruiter because he had "filled out a card inquiring about enlisting." One time, on the first night home from our vacation, we were awakened at 1:00 am to strobe lights and sirens in our bedroom, coming from the a/c duct, coincidentally right after our friend, John had been house sitting for us.  The trouble with practical jokes is that they often overflow on to innocent wives!   
Y -Yucky Tomato - One of our daughters, who shall remain nameless, hated tomatoes, and still does to this day.  The rule at our house, was that if you didn't "care for" something, you needed to at least have a "no thank you" serving, and taste it because you never know when your tastes will change.  When this daughter was about 4, she decided she would not even taste her BLT at Sunday lunch.  This became the typical "battle of the wills."  Gary said, "That's fine, you can have it for dinner and nothing else except juice until you try the tomato."  So out it came at dinner, at which time she ate the Bacon.  Still refusing to taste the tomato, she received the sandwich again at breakfast at which time she ate the Lettuce and some of the Bread.  Hunger had it's effect and at lunchtime on Monday she decided to take a bite of the tomato. 
B - Beautiful - I can't remember the exact context, but will never forget that Gary said "You can make a woman beautiful by how you treat her."
I - Imagination - Gary's imagination often led to inventions and a garage, crowded with "someday I'm going to" projects. One that everyone's familiar with is the stone self portrait, high above the driveway, on the fireplace.  (see photo below)  He wanted to "keep an eye on his work truck."  I assume it is still there, keeping an eye on our former house. 
R - Reconnaissance - Our friend Tim, whom we served with at the USC Bible Study recently reminded me of a lesson he learned from Gary, "one of the only things I really remember about being a husband and father in situations like this was Gary's comparing it to being a scout. As a man, you go out and search out a situation and make sure that it's a good one for your family. Are there provisions? Is it safe? Where are the dangers and threats?" That helped me to see what my role was and how I could be a blessing to my family. 
T - H2O Therapy - Our friends, Greg and Diane, called it his "Water Therapy".  Gary's first activity upon arriving at home from work every day, was watering the front yard.  Even after he installed sprinklers, he would unwind in this way.
H - Haircut Joy - When I began to loose my hair from the chemo therapy 9 years ago, Gary helped me get it over with, and all shaved off.  But this dreaded event, became a cause for laughter, because of his fun attitude.  Out came the buzzer, accompanied by sympathy and a hug, and then he proceeded to make me laugh.  First he gave me a mohawk, and then a military cut, and then away it all went.  "Blip-ti-de-Blip...Blip-ti-de-Blam!"
D - Dump Antics - In the 70's, Gary had a 1953 1-Ton Flat bed pickup truck.  He had ordered tool boxes for it, and in order to have them installed, the flat bed needed to be removed.  He drove the truck to the dump, and pulled up near the piles of trash, got out, removed the bolts holding the flatbed to the frame, got back in, 'gunned' it, and sped away, which immediately removed the flatbed.  One of the "trash-pickers" called out to him, as he drove away, "Hey mister, you lost part of your truck!" 
A - Automobile Showroom -Gary often told young men who were getting involved with young women, while still in college, "What you're doing is like hanging around the new car lots, when you can't afford to buy a new car?  You need to be ready to support a wife, AND family, before you get involved in a dating relationship.  Until that time, spend time with girls in groups, and don't get serious until you can do something about it.  It's not sensible, or fair to 'tap dibs' on a girl and make her wait for you to get your act together.  Do things in the right order." 
Y - "You bettcha" - This was his most common response whenever I asked Gary to do something for me.  Requests ranging from "Can you unload the groceries from the car?" "You Bettcha!" "Can you find a way to hang rice paper lamps all over the back yard for April's wedding?" "You Bettcha!" "Can you make footprints in wet cement leading to the fishpond for our upcoming murder-mystery party?  Oh, and we'll need a corpse too."  Gary disappeared for a while and down he came from the attic with the mannequin, again...

Gary would be the first to say he is not perfect, and he probably wouldn't be thrilled with all the attention he is getting lately, but birthdays are a time for celebrating.  I celebrate my Gary. 

Keeping an Eye on Things

 

The Parentals Head West

Right now in Springville, Utah, my very sweet, elderly parents are enjoying their breakfast.  They are at the mid-point of their road trip to California from Bozeman, Montana.  This time their car is loaded with more than suitcases, for they are moving.  The moving van is on it's way, and the documents have been signed.  Everything has been done.  It may sound simple, but there are so many required steps to a move like this, and when you are 88 or 93, the details are overwhelming.

None of us, including my parents thought they would ever leave the Big Sky Country.  They have loved it for nearly 30 years.  But the winters, and the distance from family finally proved too much for these adventurous dear ones, and they decided to put their house on the market.  So, a couple months later, here they come.

I am tempted to make a list of how many answers to prayer that our family has experienced over the last few months regarding this "move."  I'll limit myself to two; a "Macro" and a "Micro" example.

Prayer for wisdom, and direction in what home to buy:  We all wanted them to join us in the Friendly Valley community.  It is "safe", beautiful, and convenient.  I've been watching properties here for some few months as they come on the market, and sell, or sit there.  When the time came for Mom and Dad to make an offer, there was only one house in our immediate neighborhood, that was a viable option, and it happened to be directly across the street from us.  God's providence is the explanation.  We couldn't have planned this any better.

Prayer for resolution of a potential problem with document signing:  Wednesday night, after the moving van was loaded, the floors vacuumed and the doors locked for the last time, while at Mom and Dad's friends', getting ready to eat dinner, and spend the night, they realized that Dad's wallet, containing his Drivers License was accidentally loaded into the moving van.  He would need his photo ID Thursday morning to sign over the deed, at the closing, as this is a notarized document.  Well, it was determined that the van was already 2 hours away.  After many phone calls and discussions, and contingency plans, we all decided to go to bed, and pray for a solution.  Turns out an affidavit can be filled out and witnessed that my dad is actually who he says he is.  When getting ready to leave the "closing", Mom asked about the affidavit.  The escrow officer said "Oh, I know these realtors so well.  If they say this is Bill, I believe them.  No problem."  I can't help but think this would not be such a simple solution in Los Angeles.  All I can say is: "Much ado about nothing."

My parents have said two very important things this week which I will always remember.  When asking my dad how things were going, he said, "We couldn't have done it without all the help." (referring to friends and neighbors)  When the problem with the missing Drivers License was resolved, my mom said, "Every time there is a road block, the Lord solves it and says, 'Will you trust Me again?'"  These two comments sum up so much of what the Christian life is about. Trusting God, when we can't see around the corner of the wall in front of us, and then accepting things as they unfold.  Doesn't Romans 8:28 say "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

What if the offer was not accepted on the house across the street?  What if the documents couldn't be signed without that Drivers License?  Would God be any less good?  Less powerful?  Less loving?  I have frequently prayed for things that would seem good, for others and for God's glory.  Like healing Gary, for instance. The answer is sometimes "No" or "Not yet".  When Jesus saved me, He brought me into his very own family.  I inherited "Every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places." (Eph.1)  Why would I, a fallen, weak, sinful creature, argue in my mind with my Creator?  How foolish would that be!  I am not perfect, or strong or able to understand everything that happens, but that is because God is God, and I am not.  We are not like Him.  Even though he makes us his sons and daughters by His incredible gift of salvation, He is not at out beckon call.  He is not Santa Claus.  BUT, He very graciously listens to us.   

"He set my feet upon a rock, making my footsteps firm.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.  How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust..."  Ps. 40: 3-4  I am not strong, but God is.  I don't know which way to "go", but God keeps my feet secure.   My glad heart is because of Him.

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" Romans 8:32  That's it!  Once our eternal salvation is taken care of, which is the impossibly hardest thing ever done, why would I doubt that all other things are in His tender care as well. 

Right now, my parents are in His tender care, and I am eagerly awaiting their arrival.  Yes I am praying for them because God is listening to me.  I am His adopted daughter.  If something "goes wrong", that is not because God wasn't paying attention.  He will use it to accomplish His purposes in all of our lives.  It is to God that we look, for it is in Him that we "live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28

Our new neighbors.

The Screwdriver

His big strong hands are smaller now yet he holds his tools correctly, most of the time, and even handles them the right way.  What has changed is their intended purpose.  Nathan, a friend, recently made Gary a “project board” with a variety of Phillips-head screws partly screwed in, so today, when I handed him the screwdriver, he began working on getting them all the way in.  He enjoys holding his favorite hand tools.  They went back and forth from his right hand to his tool belt countless times a day for an entire career.  In the “old days,” he didn’t need to look to see where the duckbill pliers or the wire strippers were.  He could reach down, like a gunfighter, and grab them as needed.  Now, standing at the kitchen counter, with his wooden project board of screws, he is content and has been for 45 minutes.  The goal is very short.  Turn the screw. 

One of the 4 parts of human thinking, is “Executive Function.”  This is what it sounds like, the ability to plan, make decisions, sort, and multi-task.  Someone with A.D. may have this part extremely inhibited, as does Gary.  Therefore, he is easily distracted from the task of “turning the screws” and, still using the screwdriver, may decide to twist it rapidly, like a drill, making a small hole in the tile, or using the defrosting sausage package, pry off the paper label then press it (the label) on the project board, weaving the strip of paper amongst the half installed screws.  He even may poke with the screwdriver into the partly thawed sausage.  In the last 45 minutes, Gary has done all of these things.  His heart is happy.  He is not frustrated, or “missing out” on what he wished he could do.  He has no “wishes, or “longings,” that I can tell.  He is enjoying handling and using his old friend, the Phillips head screwdriver.

One of the things I had to get over, and am still trying to get over, during this adventure of the last few years, was the wishing and hoping that Gary could do satisfying little projects.  You know, things that you’d give the grandkids at Christmas, like a simple craft you could buy at Michaels.  But, if he enjoys hearing the sound of the tip of the screwdriver tap repeatedly on the edge of his piece of wood, or the sausage package, or the tile, for that matter, and God has allowed him to retain the ability to be pleased with the process, however simplified that is, then I need to be at peace with that. (at least I am today)

One of my favorite books on the topic, says dementia patients don’t lose their own dignity, rather, others take it from them.  I love and respect my husband, so I write these things to say Gary is an amazing man.  He has done and IS doing amazing things.  God gave Gary the ability to use tools to create some incredible things.  He LOVED working hard on some new “idea.”  Right now, he is LOVING removing the screws from the little piece of wood.  As Job said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  James wrote: “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”  Gary’s mind, was given to him by God.  Now it is being taken away.  But look how kind and gracious God is.  We live in a fallen world, where every one of us is mortal and will die of something.  Yet, for now, He has allowed my dear husband to work diligently with his tool for over an hour.  An hour well spent.  I believe that this is pleasing to God, who loves Gary far more than I ever could and has great plans for him. 

EnCOURAGment

We have a fairly new Alzheimer's Ministry group at Grace Church.  We are several families with a parent or spouse with A.D. and others who want to help us.  Our Special Ministries pastor, Ric McLean heads it up.   This morning, at our monthly meeting, it was great to see how the group is beginning to encourage each other.  I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 1:4.  God, "comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."  I've been thinking about Romans 8:28 too.  "...God causes ALL THINGS to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."  Sin became part of our world in the Garden.  If I were there at the time, I would have fallen just like Adam and Eve.  So the resulting death, disease, loss, labor, difficulty, pain, sorrow, etc, etc, is here in every generation since the beginning.  But they are not wasted.  All these things cause suffering true, BUT are included in the "ALL THINGS" God is using in our lives, for GOOD.  One of those good things is the comfort we experience as we are encouraged, and comforted by others who have gone before us or are right along side us.  Pastor Ric reminded us of some of the ways God uses suffering in the lives of his children.  The fact that suffering is very short in light of eternity, and a tool in the hand of God to mold Gary and I, is encouraging.  That thought gives me COURAGE!  The group is bonding in a way that will be invaluable and we're so blessed to be a part.

Trouble

“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me: You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me."   When it seems like there are more "bad" than "good" days in the course of a week, like THIS week, I begin to wonder if we're reaching a new stage in the progression of Gary's disease.  During these times I am tempted by the Enemy of our souls to give in to despair, frustration, control, self pity, and more.  He is, after all, "prowling around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."  I'm sure that anyone who has been close to someone with a progressive disease that has no cure, experiences this same kind of "trouble."  The kind of trouble that you just have to accept, because you can't change it.  Last summer, we reached one of these new "stages" and at that time, I gave myself over to self pity, and the rest of it for many days.  I am so thankful for the Lord's kindness to yank me out of that thinking back to His side, where I was revived and saturated with His wonderful promises to "accomplish what concerns me."  I hate when I'm tempted to go down that road again, and by God's grace, this week, He has reminded me, again, of His completely kind hands which made both Gary and I and will do what's best. 

"Your lovingkindness, O LORD is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands." Psalms 138:7-8

Revived, and ready for another one...let's see what tomorrow has in store.

Colors

32 years ago Gary and I created this stained glass window for our kitchen.  It was a very fun project that led to a cottage industry, designing and crafting custom stained glass for 12 years.  So much has happened since then. To quote Karen Carpenter, “We’d only just begun…” Recently, I’ve been able to get “artsy” again, with watercolor illustrations.  I call them “Colors By Laurie.”  I have been mulling over the idea that my life is colorful too, not unlike a stained glass window.  

I have experienced the light and bright joys, as well as the “dark” events that everyone dreads.  My greatest earthly happiness is my husband.  He and I have partnered together to face life and that has made for some wonderful memories.  The fun of watching a thunderstorm from our bedroom with the girls with the French doors wide open, “batting practice” at Lake Powell, the Murder Mystery Parties, transitioning our daughters into the hands of the men they said “Yes” to, of course all the grandkiddos, and the endless practical jokes and movie quotes.  All of these have been peppered with hard times as well, and now, in the last decade I’ve had a bout with Stage 3 Breast Cancer, and a few years ago, Gary was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease.  We have the privilege of walking together through the “for worse” part just like the “for better” part, and though no one knows the future, I have a pretty good idea of what’s likely. 

Our world could be monochromatic, but it’s NOT!  I’m thankful for the variety of colors, darks, lights, textures, mass, shapes, and lines.  I’m not meaning to sound like an art class, (nod to Mr. DeGrassi) but it’s true!  Look around.  Our world is FULL of visual variety.  That’s what makes it interesting, from the clear, aqua waters of Florida, to the vivid orange sunsets over the rugged, massive Rocky Mts.  Why did God make the world that way?  Artist’s prerogative.  He does whatever He pleases, and it pleased Him to make the world beautiful, and then, give us minds that appreciate it!

Look too long at any element, without stepping back to see the whole, and you’ll not see the story the artist intends.  For optimal viewing, wait until completed.  God made the universe very quickly, but we are in process.  One day, we will be as He plans, Gary will have a renewed mind, able to comprehend his Creator perfectly.  I will no longer be distracted by the ups and downs of life, and completely joyful and at peace forever.  “Behold I am making all things new.” Revelation 21:5  For this reason, I refuse to give in to self-pity or sorrow.  I don’t deny that emotions are very real, but there are far reaching benefits to the dark times and I choose glean what I can from them. 

If a stained glass window is all one color, it can be a nice geometric design, and that’s great, but it won’t tell a story.  It needs shapes that mean something to the viewer, line so the eye can cruise around the entire composition, texture for interest, and those dark areas of contrast that make the colors stand out beautifully.   People are creative, because they are created in the image of God.  God is creating a beautiful thing in the lives of His people. “Look among the nations!  Observe!  Be astonished!  Wonder!  Because I am doing something in your days—You would not believe if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5

For a blast from the past...Here's a Keith Green song I love on the same topic.  Jon, this one's for you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNoYNlvpcek&feature=related