Remembering the Details

Sunday would have been our 51st Anniversary.  We married between Christmas and New Year’s, in between my semesters at CSUN.  My dad and Gary jokingly teased each other about who would get me for a write-off in 1974.  My dad kindly encouraged us to marry on the 28th, and Gary got the better end of the deal, being just 3 days away from 1975.

We were married 40 1/2 years but it’s been 10 1/2 years without Gary.  Since he’s been in heaven, I always do some smallish thing to celebrate our marriage.  This year it was sharing cheesecake with the family the night before, and on the special day, at home, I replayed the audio of our wedding while looking at the photos.  It was a very cold and rainy day in 1974, not unlike our weather this December, when Pastor Travaille led us through our vows to each other and to God.  No matter what, we were “all in.”  He laid out the truth that life would not always be easy, but that whatever would come, God would be with us, and we could find peace and joy in all of it together. In hindsight, he was right.  The challenging trials came, and the Lord was with us, giving us His strength together.

I had fun looking at the photos of the mid-70s styles that seemed so perfect at the time.  And there were mishaps too.  I almost took a trip to the ER on the day of my wedding.  See my bandaged finger in the photo?  One of my bridesmaids and I were making ham sandwiches for an early lunch on my wedding day, and slicing the leftover Christmas ham, too excited or just plain klutzy, I sliced toward my left hand and cut my finger.  I probably should have gotten stitches, but that would have seriously messed up the day, so Vicki and I used direct pressure, and wrapped it tightly with bandaids.  51 years later I still have the scar if you want to see it.  I survived, and was so overjoyed at marrying my sweetheart that it didn’t matter.  Thank goodness for being able to carry a bouquet, so no one knew, and this is the only photo I know of that showed it. The worst part was everyone at the reception looking at my new ring, and squeezing my fingers! Yikes!

My mom and I made my dress, after a practice dress made of muslin, and we took her wedding dress apart to use the lace for my neckline and the satin fabric for her blouse.  All the bridesmaids spent the night before at my house, and we made the fresh floral wreaths for our hair.  I used my parents’ cake topper and then my daughter, Sarah used the same one.  Each time we painted the figures with appropriate hair color.   I love its 50’s look.

Our reception was very simple, just cake, punch and coffee right there at the 1st Baptist Church. We spent our wedding night in our Sunland home, and woke up to snow on the mountains!  Perfect for a skiing honeymoon trip.  Gary was a wonderful husband and of course I miss him, but since he died I rarely cry over losing him.  As I’ve said in the past, Gary departed slowly with 9 years of Alzheimers, so most of my grieving was during those years.  When he finally passed into glory, my grief turned into peace and joy.  But every once in a while, I’m struck with the emotion, usually when I least expect it.  For Christmas this year, Sarah and Ryan gave me a mug and an ornament from June Mountain where we had a few days of skiing on our honeymoon.  When I opened it, I wept tears of missing Gary and thankfulness for the reasons I do.

I remember Gary told me when we posed for this honeymoon photo that he wanted to grow old with me like these two trees. I love that they put this picture in the little frame.

Enjoying my wedding audio and photos got me thinking about the brevity of life since in my mind’s eye those events are so real it seems like yesterday, yet it was 51 years ago.  I think the reason older people say life goes faster every year is that we clearly remember certain things so they seem recent.  At church on Sunday, my pastors explained what God has to say in His Word about time and our relationship to it especially at the end of 2025.  These were a few of my take-aways. Maybe you can relate.

1. My body will wear out gradually or quickly so how should I spend today with my current situation and limitations?

“You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” (James 4:14)  Life is like a “long shadow” (Psalm 102:11), a “vanishing cloud” (Job 7:9), a “breath” (Job 7:7).

“As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear (revere) Him, and His righteousness to children’s children.” (Psalm 103:15-17)

2. Time is fleeting and should be valued.   I can never get a do-over with a day.  Lord help me to make the most of the time I have been given while I live in this world.

“…be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:16)

3. Right here and right now, I have much to thank and esteem God for, with my whole self.  My heart’s desire is to be all in.

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits. Who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle.” (Psalm 103:1-5)

The Bible says we “don’t know what a day will bring forth.” None of us know what 2026 will be like, but God does, and He has promised to shower His own children with lovingkindness and compassion no matter what comes.  There’s a curse on this world because of sin and so there’s loss, death, sorrow and trials this side of heaven. The beauty and joys of heaven, and no more tears, await those who acknowledge their need God’s mercy and forgiveness and that only by His work on the cross can they be part of His forever family and I can’t wait to get there, whenever God decides the time is right.

Last week I dressed up like the ghosts in “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens for a Christmas party. This picture of me dressed like the “Ghost of Christmas Present” is a silly reminder to live in the PRESENT, remembering we can’t go back or forward in time. My prayer for 2026 is that I live each day as if it’s my last.

Happy New Year!

More, More, More

More time, more years, more opportunities, more energy, more, more, more. I confess, my greedy heart suffers from Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) so I always seem to want MORE! Recently I was asked to share my story about my pathway to contentment, especially during the “Older Years.” Our ladies group at church had been studying what the Bible has to say about contentment for the last year and being one of the older women there, qualified me on this topic. Not because I’ve mastered it, mind you, but because I’m older! I am still learning the secret of being content, which according to the apostle Paul, it is something we learn. We are not born content, therefore we need to learn it.

I’m sharing the audio link to my message here today, hoping my story can help someone learn along with me. My ups and downs, may prove to remind you of challenges in your own life that may lead to your own peace and joy as well, no matter how old you are.

The outline is below. (I had fun choosing some of my paintings for the presentation to illustrate the points, since images really help me remember.)

Audio Recording: Contentment in the Older Years: CLICK HERE (approx. 45 min.)

OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION

* Wanted and Unwanted Changes

* Learning Contentment in the Older Years

#1. REDEEM THE TIME

• Struggles with Reaching Forward

• Struggles with Reaching Back

#2. ACCEPT YOUR LIMITATIONS

• Limitations forced upon us. Accept them.

• Remember your Creator. He is good, so His plan is good. He will help me. He is renewing me.

#3. EMBRACE YOUR CURRENT ROLE

• Grief and Loss

• New role as a widow.

#4. PRESS ON

• Rooted in God

• Flourishing

CONCLUSION

• Older is the new younger.

Remembering Gary Today

For 10 years, I’ve chosen to do something special on May 13th. Something to remember Gary. I always want something to look forward to on the anniversary of the day I had to say goodbye to him, in this life. Whether something big, like a trip to the Central Coast, or something small, like picking out and planting a hydrangea, or something in-between like a piece of carrot cake at the Cheesecake Factory, I try to choose something that reminds me of him. Something he enjoyed. For 10 years, the anniversary of his parting, has not been a somber, dreary occasion, but a sweet day with lots to be thankful for.

Though it started out the same, today was different. I approached this anniversary with the same kind of planning. What would be a nice way to celebrate Gary? What fits into my budget this year? What would be special, and yet practical? So I randomly ran through some options, none of which seemed like a good idea. I dug deeper trying to get those creative juices flowing, but to no avail. Here’s a quick glimpse of what I would have LIKED to do but couldn’t or shouldn’t:

1. The main thing I wanted to do today was to buy a 2nd Parlor Palm to plant in my front planter. The 1st one has been there for 15 years, since we brought it from our old house. Palm trees always remind me of Gary’s extensive collection. (BUT NOPE… in my entire valley I haven’t been able to find one that’s big enough or if so, affordable enough!)

2. Maybe a 2nd Hibiscus to plant in a clay pot. This was a bit of an afterthought, since I’d already left the nursery, but same story…the 1st one came from our old home 15 years ago and is happy on my back patio. (BUT NOPE…I’m really tired today and really didn’t have the energy for planting mode.)

3. Gary loved Cinnabons! Maybe since I was close to the Cinnabon store I could buy one, find a cup of Sumatra coffee (his favorite) somewhere and have myself a treat in Gary’s honor! (BUT NOPE…Too many sugary treats for me lately so I ejected that idea too.)

4. How about a drive to Ventura to walk around the harbor? We used to enjoy that together. (BUT NOPE…There wasn’t time, because I needed to pick my car up from the shop, in the middle of the day.)

5. Maybe a walk around Descanso Gardens. I love that place and so did Gary, even in his cognitive decline. (BUT NOPE…Since we went there the most after Gary got sick I don’t really remember him being there when in his “brighter days.”) BTW, I’m not saying there’s no place for remembering the “sick” days too, but that’s not what these “memorial memory times” are for.

6. I briefly considered a steak dinner at Damon’s Restaurant in Glendale, our most favorite restaurant! (BUT NOPE…Too far, too late, too much $ right now..)

7. How about a drive-by of our former home of 34 years? (BUT NOPE…that has greatly changed due to some fire damage in recent years.)

8. Maybe watching a favorite movie of his. (HMMM…This idea still has promise since the day’s not over yet.)

Well, you get the idea. The day was an interesting exercise in letting go and I really think I’ve learned a valuable lesson. We all know there is nothing wrong with honoring a beloved husband. We also know there is “no going back.” Places change, activities don’t always work out the way we hope, and flexibility is often the better goal. God is writing MY story every day and it’s a good one. I have so much to be thankful for in the last couple days alone; grandkids graduating, safety on the freeway with a broken down car on Sunday, simple car repairs, sweet fellowship with Christian friends last night, a kind and helpful neighbor friend today, and an absolutely beautiful day with amazing clouds in the sky.

The funny thing is, I actually had my “Memorial Time” today. As I was trying so hard to find some way to memorialize Gary, I found I was thinking about him all day long! Every one of those ideas brought a smile to my face and helped me to be grateful to God for His gifts. Just thinking about all the possibilities made me thankful to the Lord for loaning Gary to me for 40 years.

“The Lord will accomplish what concerns me;

Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting;

Do not forsake the works of Your hands.”

Psalm 138:8

Watercolor Journals: A Resting Place

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Come into me and rest.

Lay down, O weary one, lay down your head upon My breast.”

I came to Jesus as I was, so weary, worn and sad;

I found in Him a resting place, and He has made me glad.

Horatius Bonar, a Scottish Pastor wrote this in the mid 1800s and was not a stranger to being weary, worn and sad. He and his wife buried 5 of their 9 young children.

Many verses came to mind as created this painting for a recent project requested to illustrate Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Jesus said “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 12:28-30)

I have had many moments of needing to throw myself completely into the Lord’s care. Have you? Whether brokenhearted over my sin or the sins of others, the sorrowful state of our world and it’s effects on people past, present and future, or the daily burdens and trials of my life, the only true solace and peace comes from the living water of cleansing from sin offered by Jesus Christ is the only lasting relief. And He DOES make me glad! I’m sure many of you can relate!

The prophet Jeremiah has been a big encouragement to me recently. I was reading the words of this heartbroken mouthpiece for God to the wayward nation, Judah, just this morning. He expressed his heart so openly, telling God about his weary discouragement over the sins of his people and his own personal suffering from persecution, as well as his ultimate peace and trust in God finding comfort in the truth. He is a great example to me of a weak, flawed human who entrusted himself to his perfect Father God. I hope I can follow in his footsteps of pouring my heart out to God, even when confused and discouraged, and finding rest in God’s perfect plan. I love what Jeremiah wrote in Lamentations 3, familiar but oh so true:

“The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease

for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning: Great is Your faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him.’“

More from Horatius Bonar’s song, “I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say”

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Behold, I freely give

The living water, thirsty one; stoop down and drink and live.”

I came to Jesus, and I drank of that life-giving stream;

My thirst was quenched, my soul revived, and now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “I am this dark world’s light’

Look unto me, your morn shall rise, and all your day be bright.”

I looked to Jesus, and I found in Him my star, my sun;

And in that light of life I’ll walk till trav’ling days are done.

A friend recently shared that this painting reminded her of these words from the pen of David: “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him?…O Lord, our Lord, How majestic is Your name in all the earth!” Psalm 8:3-4 & 8. We have much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Eve!

Since some have asked…or if you’re interested, painting, prints and notecards of this image are available at my Etsy shop. CLICK HERE to open link.

Cylinders, Tablets and Kings

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I’ve been slowly working my way through the Bible chronologically.  I’m allowing myself time to take the side roads, occasionally stopping to investigate a detail. A few weeks ago, when reading the book of Daniel, I came across something that prompted my curiosity.  The section about King Belshazzar reminded me of something I saw in the British Museum during my trip to England in 2016.   I love digging in to historical details, so it fascinated me, so I’m sharing here for those who are interested in such things.

Daniel

Daniel was a devout young Hebrew who was deported to Babylon during the “70 year captivity” period of Israel (605-536 BC).  He was a specially chosen young man, for the purpose of training/brainwashing in Babylonian ways in order to help assimilate the Jews into the culture.  He rose to the level of a statesman, but never denied his Hebrew God, who gifted him with the ability to interpret dreams and make prophesies.   

The book of Daniel, a largely a prophetic book, was written in the 6th century BC, and contains details about current and future world kingdoms.  (kingdoms of Babylon and Persia during Daniel’s lifetime, and kingdoms of Greece in the 3rd century BC, and Rome in the 2nd century BC).  Some have discounted prophesies in Daniel claiming the book was written centuries later with the content changed to match the actual history.   The story of King Belshazzer in Chapter 5 has been used to support this erroneous view.     

King Belshazzer

Remember the “Writing on the Wall” king?  In 539 BC, King Nebuchadnezzer, had died, and his heir Belshazzar had become king.  Belshazzar threw a great feast and during the party, a mysterious hand wrote three words on the wall.  “Mene, Tekel and Peres” No one could figure out their significance.  Belshazzar turned to the prophet Daniel, now an old man, and promised the royal treatment including elevation to a position of “3rd in the kingdom” if he could explain the meaning.  Daniel gave the interpretation, paraphrased, “Your kingdom has been numbered and weighed and found wanting.  It is ending, and will be given to the Medes and the Persians.” That night Belshazzar was killed and the Medes took over Babylon. 

So what’s the problem?

Why did Belshazzar offer Daniel 3rd position in the kingdom?  Why not 2nd?   Why does this even matter?  Because some critics of the Bible had pointed to “Belshazzar” a name unknown to historians as a reason to doubt the authenticity of the book of Daniel, claiming the facts were wrong.  In fact, all artifacts and records, including Heroditus’ writing 100 years later, had pointed to Nabonidus as the last king of Babylon.  “…historians believed that the book of Daniel was written in the 2nd century BC and redacted back to the 6th century BC and included a “legendary” king, Belshazzar.   But the Bible says “That same night Belshazzar was slain. So Darius the Mede received the kingdom, making Belshazzar the last king of Babylon. (The Bible in the British Museum 18)

A Discovery

In 1854 archeologist, J.G.Taylor, discovered the Nabonidus cylinders/barrels at the Ziggurat at Ur (modern day Iraq).  In cuneiform writing, King Nabonidus mentions his son, Belshazzar.  This is one of the artifacts we saw at the British Museum a few years ago.  (See my photo.)

"As for me, Nabonidus, king of Babylon, save me from sinning against your great godhead and grant me as a present a life-long of days, and as for Belshazzar, the eldest son -my offspring- instill reverence for your great godhead in his heart and may he not commit any cultic mistake.” 

So Belshazzar, existed historically, and was not a legend.  In fact he was in the royal line as grandson of King Nebuchadnezzer. 

Another Artifact

Sometime prior to 1879, the Nabonidus Chronicle tablet was discovered.  It records the activities of King Nabonidus.  Notably, he went to Arabia for the last 10 years of his life, leaving his son, to rule Babylon in his place.  Combining the cylinder with this tablet, we can conclude that Nabonidus (1st) and Belshazzar (2nd) were co-regents. Therefore Daniel was made 3rd.  Daniel’s prophesies were not written after the fact, but indeed back in the 6th century BC.   

Ripple Effect 

If Daniel’s prophesies of Greece and Rome were fulfilled after the book was written, that verifies its other prophesies that have not yet been fulfilled but will be, just as sure as the Greeks followed the Romans centuries later than Daniel’s prophesy predicted.

I never doubted the book of Daniel being accurate, and prophetic, but isn’t this info cool?   I love the details of Scripture and how relatively new archeological discoveries confirm the accuracy of the Word of the Living God.  A personal note:  the main thing that drew my husband Gary into saving faith, was the fulfilled prophesies in the Bible.  They helped him see that if God’s Word could predict future events, hundreds of centuries away, that turned out to be historically accurate, it must be taken as true from cover to cover, including its condemnation of sin, and offer of forgiveness through faith in Christ.   

Daniel said,

“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,

For wisdom and power belong to Him.

It is He who changes the times and the epochs;

He removes kings and establishes kings;

He gives wisdom to wise men

And knowledge to men of understanding.

It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;

He knows what is in the darkness,

And the light dwells with Him.

To You, O God of my fathers,

I give thanks and praise,

For You have given me wisdom and power’

Even now You have made known to me what we have requested of You,

For You have made known to us the king’s matter.” Daniel 2:20-23

Reformation Day Reflections

Halloween is such a big deal now, and it’s going to be here in a few days.  But a bigger deal to me, on October 31, is “Reformation Day.” It celebrates the day, in 1517, that the priest, Martin Luther nailed his Ninety Five Theses to the door of the Wittenberg Cathedral, kicking off a big debate about the infallible authority of Scripture and how someone can be justified in God’s sight. The result was the Protestant Reformation.

Three years ago, I enjoyed a tour in Europe to learn more about a few of the people and events of those years.  A couple years later, I finished condensing my trip into this 90-minute video. I tried to choose music that was somewhat similar to the various eras, and I relied on my travel journal where I had jotted details. Some of the video is narrated by Yours Truly. Listening to a recording of my voice always sounds funny to me but I did it anyway.

Right now, I’m tempted to go ahead and share the tremendous impact this trip had on my life, but I have made my comments in my video. Briefly, being in the places, and reviewing the history of the church was challenging, and inspiring for my own faith. My prayer is that I would have the courage to stand for the truth, and live for Christ, following the example of so many who have gone before me.

Just to give an idea of what’s in my video…

We focused on Martin Luther in Wittenberg and Worms, Germany, John Calvin in Geneva, Switzerland, multiple martyrs in London, England, John Knox in Edinburgh and St. Andrews, Scotland, John Newton in Olney, England, William Tyndale in Lutterworth, England, John Bunyan in Bedford, the Marian Martyrs in Oxford, England, Hugh Latimer, and others in Cambridge, England and Jeremiah Burroughs in London, England.

PLUS there were a few other fun people and places not related to church history mixed in.

I love to share, so here goes…

(Click arrow to play)

The Secret Place

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty

Pardon all the Old English, but this song, written by James MacDermid in 1908 is locked in my musical memory, and rises to my lips from time to time.  It’s taken from David’s 91st Psalm. 

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night
Nor the arrow that flieth by day
Nor the pestilence that walketh in darkness
Nor the destruction that wasteth at noonday

Click HERE to listen to The Ninety First Psalm sung by Edward Palmer

Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge,
Even the most High, thy habitation,
There shall no evil befall thee
Neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling

I couldn’t find a recent or updated recording but I love the words and the music.  Over the last month I’ve made it into a prayer.  Not just recited words, but words that have been hidden in my heart since voice lessons during college.  When tempted to be fearful about my cancer diagnosis, and upcoming cancer surgery, and the possibility of treatments after that, I’ve asked God to keep me dwelling in His secret, protected, shadow, where He shields from danger.  I’ve asked Him to be my refuge, my dwelling place, because close to Him, evil can’t touch me.  His angels are all around me, guarding me from stumbling and tripping up in my fears.  Many a night over the last month, with the constant knowledge that there is cancer in my body, and not knowing how much, I’ve whispered these prayers to the Lord as I drift off to sleep.  Oh what comfort.

For He shall give His angels charge over thee
To keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands
Lest thou dash thy foot against a stone,
Against a stone

All of this reassurance, and promise of protection, had more to do with my fears, than the cancer.  More to keep me from evil temptations to doubt God’s goodness, or fall apart with anxiety, than the number of cancer cells, or the type.  After all, I was trusting my Lord back in 2002 when He allowed me to have stage 3 cancer, (with a 50% chance of a 5 year survival) and the ensuing year of treatments.  During that season He kept me close and gave me courage, and walked through the trial with me.  Then with Gary's 9 year illness, we both knew the closeness of our Lord and were continually en-couraged by Him.  Then for the last 60 days, He kept me close again and gave me courage, and eliminated the cancer with no further treatment needed. 

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
He shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty

Someday I will likely get sick again, probably more than once, and He will comfort and strengthen me then too, until I finally enter His presence and see my savior face-to-face.   We live in a fallen world, so there are repercussions, illness being just one of them.  No one is exempt.  I am grateful to God that we have incredible medical advancements, and I received GREAT care by my health care team, but as a Christian, I know everything is an opportunity to glorify God, so let me say PRAISE GOD today.  Yes, for healing me quickly this time, but mostly for walking along with me, giving me comfort, and strength. 

The Lord said...“Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him.  I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.  He will call on me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16

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Wait a Minute

Like many of my fellow Americans, I don’t like to wait.  I don’t like to generalize, but I’ve noticed that other cultures seem to be better at it than we are.  If you’ve ever been in Hawaii, you know the "Aloha Spirit” which to the best of my understanding means there is more emphasis on relaxation and enjoying the moment, than getting somewhere “on time.”   I think there’s a generational aspect to waiting with patience too.  Best examples were my my mom and dad.  Maybe it was my parents’ personalities, but when they were waiting for a ride, or a phone call, or a package to arrive, they were able to enjoy chatting with others, or the activities going on around them.   They made friends while waiting.  It could be a fellow tourist waiting for Old Faithful to erupt, a fellow skier in the lift line, or someone waiting their turn at the barbershop. 

Technology is great and it allows me to text, call, leave a message, or go online and check anything I want, without waiting for someone to return the library book I was waiting for.   I have communication (sort of), and information (sort of) at my fingertips.  No wonder I try to find the shortest line, and try to get the earliest appointment at the Dr.  I have the urge to “save time” not waste it, and have more “free time” to do what I want.  But let me tell you, one of the hardest things to wait for is surgery when you know you have cancer in you and you want it OUT!

It’s been several weeks since getting the news that I have a malignancy, and this is the week for the surgery to remove it and check the lymph nodes to see if it spread.  I’ve been trying to make good use of the days, doing things that I won’t be able to do for a while and stocking up on comfort foods.  There’s been a bunch of medical tests, and waiting rooms mixed into the last few weeks too…many hours spent driving to appointments and medical tests, and waiting to hear, “The Dr. will see you now.”  I confess, it’s easy for my mind to slip into the frustrated wonder of “Why is it taking so long?”  There’s the earthly plane, where crowded schedules get interrupted, emergencies happen, freeway exits are missed, computers are down, and people are forced to wait.  But oh how thankful I am that even though I forget it sometimes, I am not “of this world.”  Because Jesus Christ is my savior He has a very special, specific timetable for me because He has my ultimate good and joy in mind.  He is in charge, (REALLY in charge) so I’m not ultimately waiting for someone to “call me back” or for someone to fax the right thing to the right place.  God is the One I’m waiting for.  That makes all the difference.  Just remembering that God loves me, wastes nothing, and is committed to conforming me to the image of His son, takes off the pressure.  During these “cancer’s-in-me” days, I’ve been enjoying His great comfort, and when tempted to impatience, I’ve been bolstered and loved.    

“Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”  Isaiah 40:31

I won't know the outcome until my amazing medical team is done with me, but I'm really grateful for them, and no matter what, I hope to glorify with every day of my life.  I'm sure I'll be in "God's waiting room" again at some point, and I'll look forward to what He has in store for me there.

A helpful book: "Wait" by Smedley Yates

Resting in God's Promises

We all know what happens next.  Charlie Brown runs to kick the football, and Lucy yanks it away at the last second.  Charlie lands flat on his back after kicking the air with all his might, and is disappointed once more, after another one of Lucy’s broken promises.

From a young age, we learn to make promises:   “Honest Promise” - “Pinky-Promise” - “I swear!” Anybody remember in Anne of Green Gables, when Anne Shirley and Diana Barry make their “Solemn Vow”?

We all know what a promise IS…It can be written or verbal.  The one who makes it is bound by honor, conscience or law to do it, and the recipient has the right to expect it to be done.  You might tell your kids, “I promise to get you an ice cream after school.”  You might have a written agreement with a landlord or bank where you, “promise to pay the rent on time in exchange for a place to live.” 

The trouble is, you and I are like Lucy, in that we don’t always keep the promises we make.   Sometimes circumstances don’t allow, or we forget, or we are just plain selfish, or something else.   Napoleon Bonaparte wisely said, “The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.”

BUT! God is not like us!

He is bound by Himself to keep His promises.  That’s why we can REST and not worry He’d ever forget or break a promise.  The Bible says that God has given His children “precious and magnificent promises” (2 Peter 1:4)

HERE'S A FEW THAT CAME TO MIND...

Jesus said He’d never leave you nor forsake you.

God will be a father to the fatherless.

God will bring us to heaven.

All the spiritual blessings in the heavenly places are ours in Christ.

If we need wisdom, and ask for it, He’ll give it.

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Last week I found out I need to have a medical procedure done.  A biopsy will be needed.  I'm not unique.  Everyone has these little, or bigger, scary, worrisome, troubling things of all sorts come alone.  I say (we say) I believe God, when He makes a promise.  I say I believe Him because He is faithful.  He does not change.   “every word of God is true” (Prov 30:5).   After all, many years ago, I had put my entire life into His hands based on his promise to save anyone who would call on the name of Christ.  

So why is it so hard to “rest” in His promises when life gets hard?  Rest that is truly peaceful, like being able to lean on something, rely on something.  Quiet, tranquil peace. 

• Why do we panic in our heart/emotions?
• Why do we jump to the worst possible outcome, the thing we fear most? 
• Why do we want to run away from the difficulty? 
• Why do we try to control the situation, frantically taking things in our own hands?

I confess I have done all of these things, and more, over the years.  But panic, fear, running away, controlling…none of these things are restful.

Why is it so hard to REST?

There are lots of reasons, but I’m convinced that the enemy of our souls, Satan, is prowling around like a roaring lion, trying to attack us, at our weakest moments.  (1 Peter 5:8)  He’s looking for the chinks in our spiritual armor, and trying to tempt us to doubt God’s promises, just like he did with Adam and Eve, raising thoughts like "Is God really good?"  Or this one...maybe our faith in God is weak.   Maybe we’ve been leaving thoughts of God to Sundays only, and haven’t been cultivating our relationship with Him every day.

I want to REST in God's PROMISES.  But how?

DAVID KNEW HOW:

"Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." (Psalm 116:7)

"Surely I have composed and quieted my soul."  (Psalm 131:2)

Recently I was blessed, truly, to be able to share these very encouraging thoughts with some ladies at our church.  They were SO VERY HELPFUL for me as I sat in the doctor’s office last week.  I hope they will help you too.

In Psalm 63, David gave me four ways to rest in God’s promises in difficult times. 

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
4 So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
7 For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.

9 But those who seek my life to destroy it,
Will go into the depths of the earth.
10 They will be delivered over to the power of the sword;
They will be a prey for foxes.
11 But the king will rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him will glory,
For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped.

#1  think about Who God is, and what He is like?

David thought about who God is and what He is like.  "I shall seek you earnestly (v1)...I have seen you in the sanctuary...to see your power and glory (v2)...your lovingkindness" (v3) 

I'm making myself do the same thing.  I thought of just a few.

• GOD WON'T LIE.  “Every word of God proves true.” (Proverbs 30:5)  He is absolutely trustworthy and has proven so in the past. He said in scripture that He would create a great nation from Abraham, and He did it.  He promised a Messiah, and Jesus Christ was the fulfillment.  He promised take care of me, and when I had cancer in 2002 He did, in every imaginable way.
• GOD WON'T CHANGE.  He is faithful to His word.  If He says it, He will do it.  He has kept my mind peaceful when I have focused on Him.  “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You.” (Isaiah 26:3)
• GOD IS PERFECTLY HOLY.  He doesn’t make mistakes.
• GOD IS LORD OF LORDS.  He is sovereign over the universe.  Both the seen and unseen things. 

Health/disease, wealth/poverty, rulers/slaves, believers/unbelievers.  All people, nature, planets/stars, micro-organisms and atomic particles.  And by the way,  that includes things that need biopsies.

• GOD WILL NOT DEVIATE FROM HIS PURPOSES.  “Whatever the LORD pleases, He does…” (Ps.135:6)
• GOD LOVES ME.  “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only born son, that whoever would believe in Him would be saved.”  (John 3:16)
• GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME AND HAS THE POWER TO ACCOMPLISH IT.  It’s a good plan and brings Him glory. 

“What comes in your mind when you think about God

is the most important thing about us.” A.W.Tozer

#2  Remember Fulfilled promises

David remembered the many times God had kept His word.  "I remember you...I meditate on You" (v6) ..."You have been my help" (v7)

I love remembering that the righteous have been cared for.  When I had cancer in 2002 I had my share of anxious thoughts, but there were so many blessings during that year, as I saw how God was working in and through me.  One of my favorite verses is Psalm 37:25

 “I have been young and now I am old,
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
Or his descendants begging bread.”

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you.  He will not fail you or forsake you."  (Deuteronomy 31:6)

#3  Cling Tightly to God

David knew he had to hold on tight.  "My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." (v8)  The Hebrew word “cling” means to stick to, cling to, hold on to” “a permanent, dissoluble union, as a husband is to be united to his wife Gen 2:24” according to John Mac Arthur.  It’s actually a command. “You shall fear the Lord your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name.” (Deuteronomy 10:20)

“Whom have I in heaven but You, and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.” Psalm 73:25

“I stretch out my hands for You; my soul longs for You, as a parched land.”  Psalm 143:6

 “At night, my soul longs for You, indeed, my spirit within me seeks You diligently…” Isaiah 26:9

#4  Rest & Rejoice

David rested.  Because he had confidence in God's character, and history, David fully expected that God would destroy or stop his enemies. (v.9-10)  Clinging tightly to God, filled his heart with joy and praise. (v.11) "the king will rejoice in God"

Rest is not simply kicking back in a hammock.  I’m sure there are plenty of people laying in hammocks in the Caribbean, who are not really “at rest.”  The kind of rest I’m seeking and God is offering, is peace of soul.

TO MAKE THIS REALLY PRACTICAL, HERE'S HOW I'M CHOOSING TO REST AS I WAIT FOR MEDICAL ANSWERS IN "GOD'S WAITING ROOM."

1. Ask: What is bringing "unrest" to my soul?  Currently it is: "Medical testing that has a possibly unwanted outcome" (or fill in the blank) causes anxiety, or fear, or doubt, etc.
2. I ask myself: "What is a promise of God that would answer those anxieties?  I love this one..."You (God) will keep him (me) in perfect peace, whose mind is fixed on You. (God)"  Isaiah 26:3            
3. What character qualities of God assure me that He will keep His promise?  He is faithful.  He is powerful.
4. What has He done in the past that assure you He will do so again?  In 2002 God comforted and strengthened me during cancer tests & treatment.  I grew so much closer to Him during that year.
5. How will I “cling to Him” more tightly when troubled in spirit about this?  I'm asking God to help me, and thanking Him for saving me and loving me so much.
6. What praises come to mind as you think about Resting in God’s Promise? I'm praising Him for his kindness,  comfort,  and glory He's displaying to me and through me.

It's not a once-and-done thing either.  More times than not, I have to do battle with my thoughts, repeatedly corralling them to the glory of God.  I'm sure we can all relate!

I sincerely hope these principles help you as much as they are helping me every day.  Please comment and share some of your favorite promises from God that give you peace and rest. 

By the way, I made these little scripture cards for the ladies at the study.  If you would like to get a set of 6 different verse cards about Resting in God's Promises, Click HERE.