Gary's Prayers - "Thank You"

Gary's Prayers

since being diagnosed with Alzheimer's in '07

 May 16, 2012

"Heavenly Father, thank you"

Gary prayed last night.  This is the first time in MONTHS that he has prayed out loud.  It was at dinner with some friends over.  His prayer was short.  It ended abruptly.  He got "stuck" as if he was going to say more but couldn't.  I finished for him and then our friend, Steve, commented that he had often heard Gary begin his prayers this way.

Can you even imagine how encouraging these 4 words were to my heart?   He is still giving praise and honor to his Heavenly Father, because he has been rescued from his heart of stone and been given a heart of flesh.  In his simple, random, rare moments, he continues to give thanks to God.

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

To the suffering Believers who were scattered about because of persecution, Peter wrote:

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect(fix what is broken),confirm(strengthen with resolve, under-gird), strengthen(strengthen wherever needed), and establish (give a firm foundation) you."  1 Peter 5:10

Though the circumstances were different, God is ALWAYS using this fallen world to do "a thousand things" in the lives of those who entrust their souls to Him.  May we ALL give thanks (to God) in EVERYTHING!

Watercolor Journals - "Mary's First Friend" and "The Secret Place""

"Mary's First Friend"  (8 X 10 Watercolor)

In

The Secret Garden

by

Frances Hodgson Burnett, the

Robin was Mary Lennox's first friend.  If you have never read the book, she was a contrary orphan, relocated to the English countryside, to live in a mysterious mansion with a hidden garden and strange (to her) people.  The story is about her transformation as she interacts with her new home and surrounds, and the people she lives with.  

"The Secret Place" (8 X 10 Watercolor)

Our family loved this book.  More than once, we read the hard copy, listened to the audio version, and watched the movie.  It is a story that we quote.  When I showed the painting to my daughter in Florida, via Skype, her first comment was "It's the cheeky little beggar!" 

These two paintings are the first in a series of four.  I'm offering Note Card Sets and Mother's Day Cards online here: 

Colors By Laurie Etsy store

or direct from me at

Colorsbylaurie@gmail.com

2 cards of each scene

"Mary's Friend" 4 Card Set ($12)

"Happy Nest" Mother's Day Cards ($4)

 If you've never read this classic, maybe this Spring will be the perfect time to do so.  Here's a bit to whet your appetite, or conjure up some fond memories:

He turned about to the orchard side of his garden and began to whistle--a low soft whistle. She could not understand how such a surly man could make such a coaxing sound. Almost the next moment a wonderful thing happened. She heard a soft little rushing flight through the air--and it was the bird with the red breast flying to them, and he actually alighted on the big clod of earth quite near to the gardener's foot.

"Here he is," chuckled the old man, and then he spoke to the bird as if he were speaking to a child.

"Where has tha' been, tha' cheeky little beggar?" he said. "I've not seen thee before today. Has tha, begun tha' courtin' this early in th' season? Tha'rt too forrad."

The bird put his tiny head on one side and looked up at him with his soft bright eye which was like a black dewdrop. He seemed quite familiar and not the least afraid. He hopped about and pecked the earth briskly, looking for seeds and insects. It actually gave Mary a queer feeling in her heart, because he was so pretty and cheerful and seemed so like a person. He had a tiny plump body and a delicate beak, and slender delicate legs.

"Will he always come when you call him?" she asked almost in a whisper.

"Aye, that he will. I've knowed him ever since he was a fledgling. He come out of th' nest in th' other garden an' when first he flew over th' wall he was too weak to fly back for a few days an' we got friendly. When he went over th' wall again th' rest of th' brood was gone an' he was lonely an' he come back to me."

"What kind of a bird is he?" Mary asked.

"Doesn't tha' know? He's a robin redbreast an' they're th' friendliest, curiousest birds alive. They're almost as friendly as dogs--if you know how to get on with 'em. Watch him peckin' about there an' lookin' round at us now an' again. He knows we're talkin' about him."

It was the queerest thing in the world to see the old fellow. He looked at the plump little scarlet-waistcoated bird as if he were both proud and fond of him.

"He's a conceited one," he chuckled. "He likes to hear folk talk about him. An' curious--bless me, there never was his like for curiosity an' meddlin'. He's always comin' to see what I'm plantin'. He knows all th' things Mester Craven never troubles hissel' to find out. He's th' head gardener, he is."

The robin hopped about busily pecking the soil and now and then stopped and looked at them a little. Mary thought his black dewdrop eyes gazed at her with great curiosity. It really seemed as if he were finding out all about her. The queer feeling in her heart increased. "Where did the rest of the brood fly to?" she asked.

"There's no knowin'. The old ones turn 'em out o' their nest an' make 'em fly an' they're scattered before you know it. This one was a knowin' one an, he knew he was lonely."

Mistress Mary went a step nearer to the robin and looked at him very hard.

"I'm lonely," she said.

She had not known before that this was one of the things which made her feel sour and cross. She seemed to find it out when the robin looked at her and she looked at the robin.

The old gardener pushed his cap back on his bald head and stared at her a minute.

"Art tha' th' little wench from India?" he asked.

Mary nodded.

He began to dig again, driving his spade deep into the rich black garden soil while the robin hopped about very busily employed.

"What is your name?" Mary inquired.

He stood up to answer her.

"Ben Weatherstaff," he answered, and then he added with a surly chuckle, "I'm lonely mysel' except when he's with me," and he jerked his thumb toward the robin. "He's th' only friend I've got."

"I have no friends at all," said Mary. "I never had. My Ayah didn't like me and I never played with any one."

It is a Yorkshire habit to say what you think with blunt frankness, and old Ben Weatherstaff was a Yorkshire moor man.

"Tha' an' me are a good bit alike," he said. "We was wove out of th' same cloth. We're neither of us good lookin' an' we're both of us as sour as we look. We've got the same nasty tempers, both of us, I'll warrant."

This was plain speaking, and Mary Lennox had never heard the truth about herself in her life. Native servants always salaamed and submitted to you, whatever you did. She had never thought much about her looks, but she wondered if she was as unattractive as Ben Weatherstaff and she also wondered if she looked as sour as he had looked before the robin came. She actually began to wonder also if she was "nasty tempered." She felt uncomfortable.

Suddenly a clear rippling little sound broke out near her and she turned round. She was standing a few feet from a young apple-tree and the robin had flown on to one of its branches and had burst out into a scrap of a song. Ben Weatherstaff laughed outright.

"What did he do that for?" asked Mary.

"He's made up his mind to make friends with thee," replied Ben. "Dang me if he hasn't took a fancy to thee."

"To me?" said Mary, and she moved toward the little tree softly and looked up.

"Would you make friends with me?" she said to the robin just as if she was speaking to a person. "Would you?" And she did not say it either in her hard little voice or in her imperious Indian voice, but in a tone so soft and eager and coaxing that Ben Weatherstaff was as surprised as she had been when she heard him whistle.

"Why," he cried out, "tha' said that as nice an' human as if tha' was a real child instead of a sharp old woman. Tha' said it almost like Dickon talks to his wild things on th' moor."

"Do you know Dickon?" Mary asked, turning round rather in a hurry.

"Everybody knows him. Dickon's wanderin' about everywhere. Th' very blackberries an' heather-bells knows him. I warrant th' foxes shows him where their cubs lies an' th' skylarks doesn't hide their nests from him."

Mary would have liked to ask some more questions. She was almost as curious about Dickon as she was about the deserted garden. But just that moment the robin, who had ended his song, gave a little shake of his wings, spread them and flew away. He had made his visit and had other things to do.

"He has flown over the wall!" Mary cried out, watching him. "He has flown into the orchard--he has flown across the other wall--into the garden where there is no door!"

"He lives there," said old Ben. "He came out o' th' egg there. If he's courtin', he's makin' up to some young madam of a robin that lives among th' old rose-trees there."

"Rose-trees," said Mary. "Are there rose-trees?"

Ben Weatherstaff took up his spade again and began to dig.

Practical Joking 101 - Wedding Love

Weddings are a great place for showing off your practical joking skills.  In fact, Gary used to keep a package of black, plastic ants in his suit jacket for placing a few on the Cake table when no one was looking at nearly every wedding.  That was "fun", but when our daughters' babysitter, Diana got married, back in the 80's, this called for something bigger.  Diana, was more than a babysitter.  She and her fiance Rich were our friends.  The wedding was beautiful.  Everything was perfect.

During the reception, Gary disappeared for a while then rejoined the party.  The time came to send the couple off on their honeymoon.  Goodbyes, kisses, and waves complete, the best man started the engine of the borrowed car, and ...

I think Gary even surprised himself at the amount of orange smoke which billowed from the engine area when the car was started.  (The Army surplus store had been one of Gary's favorite "toy stores".  The smoke signaling flare had followed him home one day.)  It was amazing how fast the Bride and Groom were able to jump out of the car, and the guests stood around for some time trying to assign blame.  I seem to remember one of the groomsmen, Diana's brother-in-law, getting tagged for it at the time.

Anyway, if you ever had a Gary Price practical joke played on you, it likely caused you no small inconvenience, but it's because he loved you, as he loves this dear couple who, unbelievably, are dear friends to this day.

Diana, Rich and Gary in 2010

My Second Favorite Book

My Journey Into Alzheimer's Disease by Robert Davis - A REVIEW

I don't even know where to start.  I have underlined so much of this book that I'm sitting here rereading it again just to choose my favorite quotes.  Everyone I've bumped into this week has gotten an earful from me about this man who wrote down his experience for others.  I've asked my family to please read it, and now I'm excited to share it with you all. 

Just like my Gary, Robert Davis was diagnosed with 'early-onset' Alzheimer's in his 50's.  He was enjoying a wonderful life as a pastor in Miami, Florida for 14 years, when he began the confusion began.  Married 30 years with 2 daughters, and busy with his ministry, his life was abruptly changed as he had to step away from his beloved preaching, counseling and shepherding.  His writing takes place during the early stages of the disease, and possibly into the start of the middle stage.  Some of the chapters were written by Robert, some by his wife, Betty, and some were edited by her. (Especially when he had lost the ability to write, and, though able to record his story, he repeated himself frequently and often had a hard time gathering his thoughts.)

SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

At least half of the book is devoted to his personal history and spiritual journey.  He shares from his heart the deep struggles with the confusion and blank mind which would come and go, and how his relationship with God was able to continue.  Knowing what his walk with God had been like up to this point is important in order to understand how God takes a person where he is at, and continues working in their heart.

"I now realize that instead of holding on to God and pulling myself up by my exuberant faith, I have to relax and have the simplest childlike faith and let Jesus hold me."  R.D.

INSIGHT

In the later chapters he tells what it's like for the person who's mind is confused and how to help them function at their highest ability.  He even relates what he would have done differently in comforting those with dementia in his congregation.

"...if I want to function at the top of my limited capaciy, I must establish a routine and keep to it.  It must stay away from crowds, blinking lights, too much emotional or mental stimulation, and must not become physically exhausted." R.D.

"Whatever reaches my ears with the loudest noise is that which penetrates into my consciousness and rules my perceptions." R.D.

"Perhaps if you have loved ones whose reading is impaired you could make tapes of their favorite Bible portions, Christian poems, or old hymns.  Thus at their time of need God can use your familiar voice to bless and comfort them with God's words." R.D.

I HAD TO STOP AND THINK

I could hardly imagine someone with this illness composing a book.  It's obvious that A.D. effects people differently, but how could anyone form sentences and compose their thoughts with such limited cognition.  But then, Robert Davis had been a communicator by profession, for his entire adult life.  He loved to read, write, study, and speak.  As I've been around the Alzheimer's community for several years, I can see that the basic skills stay a long time.  Even though Gary is in the advanced stage, he still likes to work on little gadgets with his hands, and loves to bend wire with his duckbill pliers, then straighten it again.  So it makes sense to me that Rev. Davis could relate his experiences so well, especially with help from Betty, just as I help Gary by putting the pliers in his right hand and the wire in his left.
  
WHY THIS BOOK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME

It is timely and specific to my questions.

I have longed to understand what it is like for Gary, and how I can better help him.  I am limited by Gary's silence.  If there are things that I can do, to minimize the confusion, and help him focus on what he loves, and what's important, I want to do them.  I pray for understanding and wisdom daily.  How often Gary and I have held each other while I have prayed for God to help us and show me what to do.  I have read many books on A.D. and none have been this helpful, because this time, I was able to get a glimpse of what to do.  My mind is racing with ideas of things to do differently and ways to enhance Gary's life.

I have wondered how God works in Gary's heart.  I know He does, because He promised to, but how does a confused mind grasp it. Does it NEED to grasp it?  Gary was saved from his sins over 40 years ago.  Jesus promised, "I will never leave you or forsake you."  He will "perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish" all of His own.  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8) So there is no doubt in my mind that Gary is safely nestled in the arms of Jesus and his soul is being nurtured day by day.  I am sure God works differently with each of his children, but just reading about Robert's walk with God is SO comforting to me.  Here is another believer, 20 years ago, on the opposite coast, that was being loved and cared for by God, and he knew it, and wrote about it, and it has ministered to my heart.  I believe the Lord sent this book to me to bolster and encourage me and help prepare me for whatever comes next. 

MY FAVORITE BOOK

The Bible of course is my favorite book.  It's Gary's favorite too, and here's what Robert says about it:

 "I am learning to take strength and comfort wherever and whenever it comes to me.  Since it is no longer possible to feed my inner man through the usual channels of prayer, meditation, and Bible study, I am learning to be strengthened by words and instructions that suddenly pop into my mind.  To recall definite things, particularly under stress, is very difficult.  Somehow the more I try to think of something, the more the thoughts disappear.  However, at times certain things pop into my mind, much to my surprise and everyone else's.  I cannot read the Bible, but suddenly miscellaneous Bible verses come to mind.  I take these and think about them for as long as I can, enjoying their truths and praising God for this facet of blessing.  As I do this, I also have a reason to thank God for his goodness." R.D.

One of the MANY reasons the Bible is my favorite book is that it tells me that God is "intimately acquainted with all my ways." and "He cares for me."  I believe it.  When God gave me insight into Robert Davis' spiritual and mental journey, He was answering my prayers.

MY SECOND FAVORITE BOOK

My Journey Into Alzheimer's Disease is only $9.86 on Amazon.com.  It's only 140 pages.  If you have a loved one or friend with A.D. or you are a caregiver of anyone with dementia, you need this book.
 

Gary on one of our walks, December 2011.

Watercolor Journals - Two Lambs

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures

He leadeth me beside the still waters

He restoreth my soul. 

He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

 

Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.

Thou annointest my head with oil,

My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life,

And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen." 

David's 23rd Psalm

I'm just a stupid sheep, in desperate need of a shepherd.  Hungry. Thirsty.  Lost.  Fearful.  Hurting.  Empty.   So needy.  BUT my Shepherd, so kind, brave, and good, bought me for His very own, in spite of my condition, and now with David I can say goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life!

My Jesus is ALSO called a sheep, but He is not at all like me. 

"...you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold... but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ." (1 Peter 1) 

Like a precious lamb, pure, and without blemish, but not helpless, He willingly went to the cross to pay the penalty of death for sin, for me, as worthless as I was.  

That's what I'm most joyful about.

  

You know what they say about rabbits...

Yep, bunnies multiply like crazy in the Spring.  That's especially true here in Friendly Valley.  In fact, they're all over the lawns, come Summer.  I've already seen some footprints near our front yard.  Well, my little Boochie Bunny, has been reproducing too.  I am excited to be able to share my latest painting with you all, in the form of note cards.

Spring Bunny Note Card

He's available at my Etsy store as an individual card:  Spring Bunny Note Card
Or in sets: Spring Bunny Note Card Set of 4

Spring Garden Note Cards

I had fun choosing 3 more Spring-Themed paintings to join Mr. Bunny in the Spring Garden Set: 
Spring Garden Note Card Set of 4

I've been looking forward to creating these note cards for several months, and am so pleased that they are finally ready.  My wheels are turning and there will be more to come.  Many thanks to our good friends Steve and Denise for the idea, and their encouragement in this direction. 

"Boochie" Bunny

“Boochie”

More about my plans for this bunny painting in another post.

In case you were wondering, my latest watercolor is "boochie."  This little bunny is "boochie" according to my granddaughter.   She has coined this word which is defined as follows:

Boochie is an adjective that describes a person or animal.  They must be small with chubby cheeks, and have a cute face.  So, some babies are boochie, as are some small animals.  Many baby animals qualify as well, such as baby skunks, raccoons, chipmunks, penguins, seals, and of course, bunnies.  Boochie, does not necessarily mean "soft", and in fact may even be prickly, as a hedgehog or porcupine.  (as long as it's cute)

The first time she used the term was when she first saw her little cousin.

 He takes after his mother, who was also boochie.

April (one year old)

Last week, when she was beating me at the Mother & Baby Animal Memory Game, she "schooled" me on which ones were boochie as well.

All babies, except the mama bunny who is also boochie.

Beating Grandma at Bob the Builder Memory Game (Why do I keep these humiliating games around?)

And just because I couldn't resist...here's some more of my boochie grandson!

Happy Springtime everyone!  

"This is the day that the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it!" 

Psalms 118:24

Coconut Oil vs The Big Bad Rx Companies

It's easy to get a bit overwhelmed with all the "Alzheimer's" information on the internet.  I really appreciate my friends sharing info with me, since my time is so limited, and they do much of the "sorting out" of what's important.  BUT, sometimes I feel guilty for not giving Gary enough coconut oil, cumin, saffron, Vitamin D, dropping the statins, etc, etc, etc. It could be a full time job keeping up with all the latest, deciding what will help, and then implementing things.  The problem is that though all the testimonials are likely true, there are many reasons someone can improve.  "Hope" for one thing.  If an Alz. patient is depressed, then having hope can be a huge help in lifting the depression, which also causes cognitive impairment.  Another thing that concerns me is that lots of folks on the internet, say their loved one's A.D. was turned around because of some diet change.  Did they really have A.D.?  Was it diagnosed?  There are MANY things that cause cognitive impairment and dementia.  Depression, lack of sleep, mini strokes, brain injury, etc, etc.

When I was buying Coconut Oil the other day, someone asked me if it helps.  I said, "I don't know, but it can't hurt and it seems to help some people."  I have no way of comparing Gary "with coconut oil", to Gary "without coconut oil".  I have tried most of the popular "natural" remedies for dementia (for weeks, sometimes months), and never seen a change for the better.   Unfortunately, the drug companies are the ones with the money to fund widespread testing, so the drugs get tested and the nutritional things don't.  Therefore, we are left with testimonials, and circumstantial evidence to base our decisions on. We live in an age when there are MANY resources, and we can know about them because of the internet.  We DO use medications which have been tweaked and fine-tuned by Gary's excellent neurologist, a reseacher at USC.  That is the course we have chosen to take.  If others elect to avoid them, hopefully they do so, because their loved one would want it that way and that is the best course "for them".  I can't measure how Gary would have been without the meds, but based on research, that has been conducted over many years with many people, the "test groups" that were on these meds did better overall than those without.  After 6 years into this journey, I strongly believe that no one should look down on another because of their philosophy of treatment. 

Many folks have mentioned Dr. Mary Newport's research into Coconut Oil recently.  Actually a friend told me about her several years ago, and I occasionally check her blog.  ( Dr. Newport's Blog ) Her research into Medium-Chain-Triglycerides seems very thorough, and  I have no doubt that her husband has improved since the daily regimen of Coconut Oil but my strengths are not in the area of nutrition or chemistry.  I am better at making memory books for Gary, and playing hymns for him when he is "stressed or fatigued".  Some of my friends ARE good with understanding nutrition and so they will care for their loved ones with more of an emphasis on diet.    Meanwhile, I continue to cook with Coconut oil, and give Gary the chocolate/coconut oil fudge snacks.  Good thing he loves coconut.  In fact, he used to enjoy buying a coconut, and then busting in to it, digging out the coconut meat and drinking the coconut milk, so even though he doesn't say so, I think he must enjoy all the coconut in his diet.

I'm trying a new recipe today for Double Coconut Muffins from SmittenKitchen.com.  Here's a link:  Double Coconut Muffins

A woman's got to know her limitations #3: Five "W's"

Limitation #3: KNOWLEDGE

The Latest Mystery

Who? Gary
What? Inhale...hold breath...exhale with rhythmic interruptions (like throat clearing, but not) with a pained expression and a spike in blood pressure
When? Mostly in the afternoon or evening and at bedtime...when fatigued, until he is sound asleep.
Where? Anywhere, but always when going to bed

I can answer all but one of the fact gathering journalism questions I learned in high school. 
Why? 

Ultimately it's because Gary has Alzheimer's Disease, but as to WHY this particular symptom is happening, I'm in the dark.  Gary can't tell me what it feels like, or why he does this when he's tired.  

Not everyone with A.D. does this, and in fact neither of his Doctors have seen it before.  It seems to me that "why" is the most important question to ask, because if there is a physiological cause, perhaps we could remedy it, to make Gary more comfortable.  I understand that there are many, many symptoms of dementia that are unexplainable, but that doesn't take away my "quest" to understand this one.  His other behaviors don't seem to make him uncomfortable like this one does.  (Just try holding your breath for 10 seconds, and then let it out slowly in short bursts.  Carry on for 10-15 minutes, if you want to see how tiring it is.)  Once he falls asleep, he goes back to normal breathing the same as when he is awake and rested.  The only thing I've found that shorten's the time, is playing instrumental hymns.  I think his mind focuses on the tunes he is familiar with, and he breathes more normally and falls asleep. 

NOW, please...I'm not sharing all this to get everyone worried or send you all on a hunt for answers.  Gary's doctors say it's not cause for alarm and doesn't sound like sleep apnea, because he doesn't "gasp for air".  Even so, I sometimes have a hard time pulling myself away from Google in my search for information on this behavior.  It remains a mystery to me. That is the point of this post...many things in life are mysteries. 

This morning I was reading in Genesis 36-46 about Joseph. Here's what stood out to me in the narrative.

•  Because of his brothers' jealousy and hatred, they nearly killed Joseph, and ended up selling him to some traders who took him to Egypt. KIDNAPPED!  SLAVERY!
•  Next, he became the property of Potiphar, the captain of Pharoah's bodyguard.  But the Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man and trusted to be the overseer of all that Potiphar owned, but Potiphar's wife was chasing after Joseph.  When he rejected her sexual advances and  "fled" from her presence, she falsely accused him of rape.  This landed him in prison...unjustly.  FALSE IMPRISONMENT!
• In prison, the Lord was with Joseph and extended kindness to him.  Again, he was put in charge of things.  When a couple of Pharaoh's officials landed in jail too, Joseph helped them out by correctly interpreting their dreams, but when released instead of helping him in return, by reporting to Pharaoh, about Joseph's kidnapping and unjust imprisonment, he was FORGOTTEN!

Was Joseph a victim?  A dupe?  God's pawn?  There were many times when Joseph's tribulations could have logically ended...One brother wanted to rescue him, but didn't get there in time.    Potiphar should have believed Joseph, since he had proven his character already.  Pharaoh's official could have remembered Joseph's unjust imprisonment. What must Joseph have thought?  Did he doubt that God was hearing his prayers? 

• Two years later, Pharaoh had a dream...It turns out that none of his "magicians" could interpret it, so that's when the official, who had been in prison with Joseph, remembered him and told Pharaoh that he knew a guy that could correctly interpret dreams.  TWO YEARS!
• So, NOW Joseph is released to come interpret Pharaoh's dream which has incredible significance for the entire country of Egypt and the surrounding lands.  There would be 7 years of prosperity, followed by 7 years of famine.  Joseph's suggestions about managing the produce, landed him a position of authority in Egypt..."So Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has informed you of all this, there is no one so discerning and wise as you are.  Pharaoh said to Joseph, "See I have set you over all the land of Egypt."  STRATEGIC POSITION!
• When the famine struck, Joseph's father, Jacob, back in Canaan, heard there was food in Egypt and sent his sons to buy some and bring it back.  Joseph of course recognizes his brothers, but they don't know him, and after a series of fascinating encounters, reveals himself to them, and brings his entire family to live in the best land of Egypt at Pharaoh's invitation. 
• Joseph said to his brothers, "I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.  No do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.  For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting.  God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance, no therefore, it was not you who sent me here, BUT GOD..."
• Even though the famine could have wiped out God's chosen people, the nation of Israel was preserved.  "Now Israel lived in the land of Egypt in Goshen, and they acquired property in it and were fruitful and became very numerous."  All because of a young guy being hated by his brothers.  
• Years later after Joseph's father died, the brothers worried that Joseph would seek revenge.  His response to them was reassuring, and made an important point about God.  "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result to preserve many people alive."  Genesis 50:20 

There are times that God puts a limit on our understanding.  He is Creator.  I am created.  He has full knowledge about everything.  My knowledge is limited!  God did not "rescue" Joseph until the time was right...Pharaoh needed to have his dream.  Joseph needed to be in charge of the food during the famine.  God was at work saving the nation of Israel from destruction again.  He had promised to make a great nation of Jacob's descendants, and He was working out His plan.  I believe the providence of God is the greatest miracle of all.  God is using the "free will" choices of people every where to work out His plan, all the time.  When he was kidnapped, falsely accused, imprisoned, and forgotten, his knowledge of the plan was limited.  What a thrill it must have been for Joseph to at last see the plan unfolding.   

When I am unable to understand why Gary has strange behaviors, that seemingly make him uncomfortable, and I am not given the key to unlock them, I too am limited.   BUT!  I worship the exact same God that Joseph did.  He loves Gary, and He loves me.  I know that He is good and He is always at work. He may not reveal the details of His plan to me, but better yet, He reveals Himself through His word, and I see His character displayed in His care for us!  Of course I will continue to monitor Gary's latest symptoms, try to see what can be done to help him, and do what the Doctor's suggest, but I am not going to fret about them.  I know where this disease is headed, and so for those of you who love Jesus, I would ask for your prayers for Gary's comfort, and my peace.  Meanwhile, the narrative about Joseph, reminds me that the hand of God at work in the lives of men, God keeps His promises, gives us the strength to be faithful during trials and wants us to be closer to Him. My limited understanding of the "created", is the pathway to knowing the Creator.  This comforts me.

Paul prayed for the Colossian believers that they "would be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God strengthened with all power according to His glorious might for the attaining of steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in light."(Col. 1)  Sounds like Joseph, doesn't it? 

"A woman's got to know her limitations" #2: Rice in a basket

Continuing the series on limitations, here's a fun one...

Limitation # 2: POINTS

I don't know what it is about visual aids with me, but I need to "SEE" things in order to understand.  I have been needing to get rid of some excess poundage, for some time, and decided that I needed a good motivator.  SO, knowing I needed to loose some weight, I bought a large bag of rice at Stater Brothers.  I was in shock to feel how heavy it was!  REALITY CHECK... I would NEVER voluntarily strap that on my back and go about my business.  BUT I had been willingly walking around with it every day for several years!  SO, when I got home, I measured 1 pound of rice into multiple ziplock baggies.   Well, you guessed it...when a pound is lost, a bag of rice goes from the basket to the jar.  When I need motivating or encouragement, I pick up the basket to see how much I have left to loose.  The jar is nearly full, I'm happy to say, and the basket is more than half empty.

I have done LOTS of different kinds of diets, but I have really been enjoying the Weight Watchers plan online since January 1st.  No foods are off limits, and the point system is calculated for you for just about every possible food.  If it's not in their online list, you can fill in the fat, carb, fiber, and protien content, on the website's calculator, and find the point value.  You are given a set number of points for each day, based on how much weight you want to loose, and also a weekly amount that can be used anytime you want in one week, so Grandkids birthday parties, can be enjoyed, and an occasional cookie, or bowl of chips.  These "treats" are fun to look forward to.  I think this kind of a diet is really good because it helps retrain good habits, and choices.  If you choose to blow all the points on a hamburger and fries for lunch, you're going to be very hungry at dinner, so best to choose something more nutritious.  Now an occasional hamburger IS ok, but only within the points you've been given, so hold the cheese please, and maybe cut it in half, and split the fries with someone.  You get the idea.  Instead of the big bowl of ice cream, limit it to 1/2 cup.

Of course exercise is encouraged, and so I have been brisk walking 3 times per week, when Gary is at the Adult Day Health Care.  20 minutes earns 2 points, which can be traded for 2 points of  food, or not.   I like to use that time to pray and enjoy our beautiful Friendly Valley, or Bridgeport Lake in Valencia.

Bridgeport Lake

Friendly Valley

I've been enjoying my food more, the flavors, and the seasonings.  I feel more energetic, and am slowly regaining the use of a few items in my closet.  2/3 of the rice bags are already in the jar, and 1/3 are still in the basket, so I'm not done, but I am looking forward to new habits forming.  Lifestyle change. 

So, along with budgeting TIME,(see last post), I am also budgeting POINTS.  I've got a few more limitations I'm going to share with you in upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

"...do you know know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body."  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"Whether, then you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."  1 Corinthians 10:31 

"A woman's got to know her limitations" #1: Rocks in a Jar

"A woman's got to know her limitations" is a series I'm starting.  Do I sound like Clint Eastwood?  I hope not.  Anyway, I've been thinking about constraints for several weeks, and decided to comment on the current limits in my life.

Limitation #1: TIME

To quote Jim Croce..."If I could put time in a bottle..." well, more of that later, but right now I just want to put some of our Moonstone Beach rocks in a jar...

Empty jar and collected stones

They don't fit...RATS!

OK...let's get organized.

SUCCESS!

"What's my secret?" you ask?
You must load the jar in descending order.  If you start with the small pebbles there will inevitably be no room for the larger stones.  First load the big ones then finish with the little ones.

When Gary was first diagnosed with A.D. his Dr. gave me a book for caregivers called The 36 Hour Day.  I would LOVE to have a 36 hour day and the appropriate amount of energy too because this is a busy season of life for me.  (I'll spare you the details, because many of you are in busy seasons as well, and I'm sure you understand.)  There used to be a time when Gary would help me sort it all out, being very logical, and would help me decide what tasks were most important.  Now he rarely speaks so I have to rely on what I think he would say.  I'm sure he'd tell me to do the most important things first, so they would be sure to get done, and let the less important things sort themselves out.

I never get everything done that I want to, and never will, but I'm comforted by the fact that there is always enough time to do the things God wants me to do.  I want to spend the 24 hours He has given me making a priority of the things God considers most important.

"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33 


"Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which having no chief, officer or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest." Prov. 6:6-8

And now...for something completely different:   

click here for "Time in a Bottle" video courtesy of the Muppets

I'm smiling just thinking about it...

Watercolor Journals - Sand

 I can almost taste the salt in the air, as the persistent wind blows the sand around.  Along the fence, the little seeds have a chance to settle, and grasses grow in its shelter.  Even though raised in Southern California, our vacations were usually in the mountains, not the beach. (Something about the sand getting tracked into the car…at least that’s what my little girl’s mind remembers.) There was one camping trip to an Oregon beach though. It still stands out as so different than the other camping trips.  I just loved running down the sand dunes with my brother, and being surprised at how the sands overtook pine trees, and mounded up at the sea, only to be rearranged later, to a new location.  Even as a young girl, my senses were impressed.  I will never forget how it felt between my toes, warm in the sun, cool underneath, and how I felt slightly out of control joyously running down the dune.  I’m so glad my parents chose at least one beachy experience for our memory banks.

This monogram was commissioned as a gift for the "Hills" who live in South Florida a short distance from the Atlantic.  May their "beach" days be sweet as well!

Merry Christmas Gary!

Gary is a man who works with his hands.  He enjoys holding and grasping things.  He loves to keep his hands moving, working, exploring.  Gadgets, pliers, key rings, and, increasingly, fabrics.  He has always appreciated nice textures.  I remember walking through department stores with him, and how he would feel the soft fabrics hanging on the racks.

These days, it seems his fingers are covered with velcro.  If he is near a towel bar, he clings to the towel.  If you are helping him dress, he clutches the t-shirt, jacket, or sweater.   I believe he feels secure when holding on to something.  Then he eventually starts manipulating it and seeing how it feels.  He'll pick up the kitchen towel and "pleat" it or fold it, watching how it lays against itself.  If you try to remove it, that's when the clutching begins. I wanted to find him a small "therapeutic" texture quilt so he would have something to hang on to, or enjoy while sitting.  

You can find plenty of  "tactile" things for little babies, but they are juvenile looking.  Many "therapeutic" items are feminine or too complex, etc.  SO I decided to make a unique little quilt specifically for Gary.  It was his Christmas present.  With Alzheimer's Disease, you never know how something is going to be received, but I couldn't have been happier with his response. 

I hope this quilt can be adapted for other A.D. patients, and maybe the close up photos can give a better idea of what I did.  I just kind of made it up, so there's no pattern, but basically I bought the minimum (6") strips of fabric, and I bought them all off the clearance table at Joanne's.  I chose a slightly heavier backing fabric, that had several colors, which I used for the color choices.  I tried to include as many different textures as I could.

Some of the seams have a separate fold sewn in so he can feel the "edge".  The width of each strip is 2" with 1/2" seams.  The over all size is a 26" square.  The boarder is the backing material.  I would recommend using similar weight fabrics, and I think it will need to be dry cleaned, because I am certain all the fabrics do not have the same washing instructions.  When done, I top-stitched around the edge of the border where it joins the strips.  The whole thing cost about $10. 

Ferns and Hydro-Therapy

This painting was ordered as a gift for a beloved mother who has a green thumb and has kept many ferns which were passed down in the family over many years.  Designing the painting was particularly fun for me because of my own memories of the multiple types of ferns I was surrounded by  for 30 years.

In Gary's garden he had a series of outdoor "rooms."  Each area was a different theme.  The back yard was tropical, with a koi pond, palms, and a cabana, and the front yard had woodland plants.  When you walk through the front gate, underneath a large buckeye tree, planters with ferns and azaleas were at your feet.  Because there are ferns that live in forests AND the tropics Gary used ferns as a transition from the woodland to the tropical areas.  

On the wall of our house he grew a "staghorn fern" along with "maidenhair" ferns.  These flourished with the "drip system" which was activated with the sprinkler timer.  On a typical day when he arrived home from work he grabbed the hose in the front yard and watered to "unwind" from the day.  No wonder the ferns were so lush there.  Our friends, Greg and Diane, called it his "hydro-therapy"! 

Watercolor Journals - Reflections

I found it interesting that the process for creating a scene with water in the foreground had a few parallels to life.  I really get time to daydream and think when painting, because I choose a time when the house is quiet.  When I finished all but the water, I decided to "ripple" the water a bit, because I didn't want the exact "mirror image" reflected in the photograph I was using.  "Too perfect" sometimes is not even believable.  You know, like some vivid sunsets; the kind you photograph and say "It doesn't even look real!"  So, while painting these reflections, I was thinking that when something disturbs the surface of my life, I can still reflect the peace and joy that's really there, deep within.  (Of course my analogy breaks down, because in reality, it's often the storms of life that reveal the depth of character in a person, not the perfect sunny days.)  But anyway, the point is, when you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?  What does your life reflect?

I confess that I often let the cares and troubles of this world crowd out the beautiful image of my Savior who resides within me.  It's not the "trials" of life that "break up" the reflection, it's my sin.  This side of Heaven, my "reflecting ability" is limited.  Thankfully, Christians are being conformed into the image of Christ, so there's hope for us.  As we remember the birth of the sinless Son of God on earth today and tomorrow, may I wish you all a Merry Christmas!  "He (Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn (premiere one) of all creation." Colossians 1:15.

My Road to Troas

This week has been characterized by God saying "No" to my plans. I did NOT get to order 2 Christmas gifts at a great discount.  I did NOT get to finish a painting when I had hoped to.  I did NOT get to keep my Chiropractor appointment.  That's been a little disappointing, but I am glad I had read Greg Harris's book The Cup and the Glory a couple of years ago.  There's a great chapter in it called "The Road."  From Acts 16, Dr. Harris explains how Paul set out to do several things, (GOOD things), and the Lord stopped/blocked/hindered him from doing so. Instead of Asia and Bythinia to minister, he ended up going on a 500 mile mountainous trek and found himself in Troas.  Early this week I reread Acts 16 in the Bible, and "The Road" chapter in the book.  Concerning his plans, Paul was "forbidden by the Holy Spirit"..."the Spirit of Jesus did not permit them..."  God's plan was for Paul to get to Troas.  That led to Macedonia, and ultimately, the writing of Philippeans!  Here's a few quotes I love from Greg Harris:              

"While a 'no' from God will not tell you where, it will tell you where not."G.H.

"Instead of 'no' highlighting deficiencies and limitations on our part, we can view it as the active work of our heavenly Father who masterminds the paths and timetable we are to travel, as well as the means necessary to bring us there."G.H.

"Two related items the road to Troas will reveal to you: the degree you really trust God, and the degree that you are pliable in His hand."G.H.

"While on the road to Troas, Paul had not the slightest indication of God's positive direction-and neither will we.  The Bible describes this as walking by faith, not by sight.  It is not at all easy, but you will not take many steps on the road without it." G.H.

I don't know what THIS week is going to look like, but I am determined to keep going, making plans, and walking WITH God.  He is here with me, and will lead me with the "NO's" just like the "YES's."

Happy walking along your unique "roads"! 

                                                                                                

A Must Read for Caregivers

Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada

I know it's a very busy time of year, but if you are a Caregiver, or know someone who is, please don't miss this article from Ken Tada.  He has been married to Joni, a beautiful and talented, woman who has been a quadriplegic for 30 years, and his take on commitment, and serving a dependent spouse is fantastic.  This article is straightforward, humble, personal, encouraging, You will be blessed, and challenged. I'm going to include it in my Alz. Resources section as one of my favorites!

Click this link for the article: Caregiving: A Cause for Christ

Click this link for "Joni & Friends" ministry:  http://www.joniandfriends.org/

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Gary with Sarah

I know this is nearly impossible, but:
WHAT IF our children never heard a swear word?
WHAT IF they never saw anything scarey?
WHAT IF they never saw or heard about marital infidelity, or promiscuity?
WHAT IF they never ... (you fill in the blank)

WHAT IF this were true for their whole lives?
WHAT IF they learned from a young age to turn their eyes away from evil and habitually guarded their lips from speaking sinfully?
WHAT IF they could live in a bubble of truth?

Not completely possible I know, BUT IF one day, after many, many years of living in a sinful world, they were to develop Alzheimer's Disease or some other form of dementia, in which the brain's wiring is "crossed" and the neurons are not firing correctly, THEN perhaps there would be LESS frightening images for them, LESS violent responses, LESS profanity, confusion about spousal faithfulness, and accusations about such.

I'm no doctor, and I am NOT casting judgement on anyone who does exhibit these changes in personality/behavior due to their dementia.  It is not their fault.  Before the disease, they WERE able to control their thoughts,  and keep them in the right "category" in their mind prior to their illness.  They WERE able to control their speech and actions.

BUT I'm just thinking as a parent, what would I want to do to help my child, who will one day grow up, live their life, and possibly have dementia one day, to keep their mind saturated with truth, not error.  There are many things on TV, Movies, Music, Video Games, and even gossip, that we must be discerning about.  Just being able to "categorize" it as sin, may not be enough.  Let's do what we can to keep the mind pure, so that if it is attacked with confusion one day, there is less ugliness stored there which can become the material for a horrid existence as well as spill out on others. 

IMPORTANT COMMENTS:
1. For some reason, up to this point, this hasn't been a problem for Gary, even though, prior to his salvation, he had seen much of the "worldliness" I am talking about.  But we know of many who do love Jesus, and who have spent their lives serving him, who, because of their dementia, have had a difficult time with personality and behavior changes.  AGAIN, I am making NO judgment on them whatsoever.  I am only wanting to motivate parents to help their children filter what goes into their mind in the first place.

2. As Christians in a fallen world, we will need to occasionally look evil in the face, for example counseling someone overtaken in a sin, or in defending and protecting the innocent, etc.  There are times when it is unavoidable, but we are cautioned, even then, to be on guard.  Galatians 6:1

"I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten it's grip on me.  A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil." Psalm 101:3-4

Gary's Prayers - "Help"

One of Gary's prayers,

since being diagnosed with Alzheimer's in '07

November 19, 2009

"Help me understand what's going on and help me be content even if it's in a mess.  Help me turn it around and so others can see a changed life."

Plan Twice...Paint Once

Some friends were recently asking me about the process of painting with watercolors, compared to other media.  We were comparing them to oils and acrylics, which I've had little experience with, but I thought I'd use my most recent painting to point out some things if you're interested in that sort of thing.  The main thing that makes watercolors difficult is that they are transparent, so you can't put light over dark.  That means you have to leave all the white spaces  and paint around them.  You can use masking liquid, or masking tape (my fav) to "mask" the light areas off, and then paint the dark colors that are next to them.  There were 4 areas in this composition that needed to be reserved as white.

1. The house.  It is mostly a shadowy white.  It did not require masking because it is a big mass and doesn't extend into any "darker" areas.  
2. The chimneys.  In order to paint the blue sky and gray clouds with fluid strokes, and not stroking "around" the chimneys, but "across" them, I blocked them out with little chimney shaped pieces of masking tape. 
3. The little white window dividers.  These delicate lines are not done with white paint, but are white paper left exposed. In this case I freehanded the dark window glass rectangle areas, leaving the white lines within the windows.  I didn't want a perfectly straight line from masking tape so they would have more character. 
4. The clouds.   Skies are tricky, quick, and fun.  In this scene, I wanted to give the sky lots of clouds, so that means less blue than clouds (white with gray).  In order to paint the sky, and not have it look like "color by number," the white parts of the clouds must be "saved" and not covered, but using masking tape makes too "hard" of an edge.  No cloud has a "crisp" edge.  They are fluffy, or whispy, or feathery, or you get the idea.  So I had to work lightly and quickly to "feather in" the blue, across the sky and in between the clouds, but not "hanging out" too long in any one area.  Even this takes careful planning, with some light pencil lines, showing where the clouds will be placed.  Later I went back with the grays of the clouds and gave them shape.  

I love the process of thinking through the composition, lighting, colors, and mood of these home portraits. The paints and brush are the frosting on the cake!