In the perfect timing and plan of God, seven years ago today, surrounded by his family, my dear Gary’s soul left his temporary, earthly dwelling behind, took his final breath, and closed his eyes. He awakened in glory with our Lord, and is currently in His presence. We were privileged to see the earthly side of that amazing moment. His heart had been steadily beating since July 19, 1949 until his brain, crowded with the webs and tangles of Alzheimer’s dementia could no longer sustain life.
Over the years and even recently I have been asked why? Why Gary? Why at age 56 should he be stricken with this disease of “old age”? This is a question that many grieving people ask. I know widows that struggle with understanding. I don’t think I have ever questioned God as to the “whys” of our trial, but I do understand being burdened down with the weight of the loss and all the accompanying trials that came with it when it began sixteen years ago. For the nine years of Gary’s illness, I knew not how long it would last. The prospect of what would happen to us, at every new loss was daunting.
There is a simple answer to those “why” questions. We live in a fallen world. Just read Genesis 3 to see why the earth is cursed and dying. If we were in Adam and Eve’s place we would have fallen too. So death entered the world, people get sick and die. Some will be raised up to life in heaven with God in glory, and some to eternal separation from God and torment. I’m so thankful that God provided a solution for my sin in His son, Jesus who came to bear that “death penalty” in my place. I’ve thrown myself on His mercy and with gratitude thanked Him for His perfect life, and complete payment for my sins. I don’t deserve it. No one does. All I need do is entrust myself to His death and resurrection on my behalf.
Instead of asking “Why” I love thinking about what an older widow friend of mine said to me recently. “The way to walk through any trial with peace and joy is by abiding in Christ.” For those of us who trust in Jesus as our savior and Lord, this is what we imperfectly do by God’s grace. Gary’s life here was temporary and had an end but way back in 1971, when the Lord saved him, that’s when his real life began. Pastor John recently said that “our transformation at our salvation is much greater than our transformation when we die.” Our soul is changed from being dead, to being alive.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” 1 Peter 1:3-5
The Lord is continuing to sustain me even though alone and feeling my age a bit more. There is much to do, and my life is really full of opportunities to enjoy and serve. I am reminded of Gary almost daily by random things; a funny comment, a favorite movie, traits of his seen in ourdaughters and grandkids. But his best legacy to me is the love and faith he had in Christ. I know he is enjoying being with the Lord.
God’s Faithful Love
Not knowing today is the anniversary of Gary’s passing, earlier this week, a sweet neighbor gifted me a plumeria plant because she remembered I said Gary loved them. I had forgotten that conversation, but God remembered and prompted her to bless me. God is faithfully taking care of my heart and when I get discouraged or burdened with some of the hard Providences and challenges in my own life or the lives of those I know, He reminds me that He loves me with an everlasting love. This plumeria will be a special reminder of that when it leafs out and blooms.