"She Shall Be Praised"

My blog posts have been non existent for some time.  I have been writing, and painting a little, but for a very different and personal reason.  My mother, Louise Ransom went to her heavenly home on July 18th.  We had an intimate memorial celebration for her in my home this week.  Honoring my mom was a joy, because she honored the Lord with her life.  Today I posted the Eulogy which I wrote to honor her life if you care to read it along with some of the photos which were shown at the service. 

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

Ella Louise Ransom was born in Chicago, Illinois September 1, 1922.  Her family had moved there when her father, Harold Huntsman, enrolled in the Wurlitzer school of Organ.  His dance band, “The Blue Melody Boys” had just broken up after five years of touring the southern states playing in the popular “dime-a-dance” halls.  Louise’s mom, Martha and her brother, Harold Jr., had been traveling with the band, and when Martha became pregnant with Louise, they decided to settle down to raise their family.

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Six weeks later they moved to Decatur, Illinois, where her dad played pipe organ for silent films, and accompanied vaudeville acts on the piano. Her parents bought a nice home on a tree lined street, near the Baptist church that became their church home.  In 1926 her sister Emily was born.

At four years old, some of Louise’s artistic interest was emerging… Recently Louise wrote of this.  “Oh Mom!  She’s done it again!”  That was the plaintiff cry of a 9 year old boy whose 4 year old sister, Louise, had invaded his room in his absence and played with his paint set.  The multi-colored mess was convicting.  Mom said to Louise, “We’ve asked you more than once not to go into Harold’s room and you’ve disobeyed, so I’ll have to use the ping pong paddle.” “But mom, the colors are so pretty and if I mix 2 of them there’s another color!”   The ping pong paddle did its job.  Privately her parents wondered if she could have a natural talent.  The next Christmas, there was a paint box marked, “Louise” under the tree. 

In the late 20’s sound came to the movies, so her father lost his job at the theatre, and eventually they lost their home.  The Huntsmans were creative.  Louise’s parents built a hamburger stand and sold hamburgers, chili, ice cream, candy and pop…everything priced at 5 cents.  They also invented the Huntsman Candy Bar which they produced in the basement of their rented home and distributed to grocery stores all over town.  In 1931 with the Great Depression upon them, a band of gypsies traveling through town robbed their hamburger stand business at knife-point.  To add to the difficulties, Harold Sr. broke his rib and was no longer able to do the strenuous work required for producing the candy bars so they went out of business. 

Although growing up during the hardships of the “Great Depression” years, in her own words, Louise said “her childhood was extremely happy.  In the atmosphere of a joyful Christian family, the focus was on God-given blessings, faith in the Almighty, and always with gratitude, and a touch of humor.”

Louise’s grandma and aunt, who lived in Los Angeles, invited her family to come to California where there were more jobs available.  The Huntsmans headed west when Louise was 9 years old.  Trusting in God, they forged ahead with optimism.  The three kids saw it as a great adventure, and didn’t understand the hardship at the time.  While Louise’s dad attended Barber College with the plan of opening his own shop, Louise loved living with her grandma, who taught her to bake cookies, make pie dough, and do embroidery work. 

In 1935, her dad opened his business in L.A.  Louise was 12.  They lived in the one room apartment above the shop, and even though crowded they were happy days.  The kids would play on the sidewalk out front, or on the flat roof, where they had a pet duck, named Donald.  Louise said, “We had little materially, but ours was a loving, joyful family with faith in God and hope for our future.” 

Eventually they were able to buy a simple farm-style house just off Sunset in Hollywood.  It seemed like a palace to Louise, after living in the tiny apartment.  The Huntsmans loved people so the welcome mat was always out.  Their home was used for meetings, special events and big family dinners for years.  A grand piano was added and the sound of music filled the rooms for many years, as Harold Sr. continued to be a professional musician along with barbering. 

While in High School, Louise continued developing her skills with a paint brush, and her teachers noticed.  She took classes at Art Center College of Design as a high school student, and was awarded a scholarship to Otis Art Institute, where she attended the year after she graduated, in 1941.  She was offered a 2nd year scholarship but turned it down, in favor of a college education beginning with Los Angeles City College.  When World War II interrupted her college years, and she went to work for Lockheed Aircraft in Burbank as a technical illustrator until the end of the war.

In 1943 Louise joined Hollywood Presbyterian Church.  It was there under the teaching of Dr. Louis Evans, and discipled by Dr. Henrietta Mears, that she fell in love with the Word of God.   Even though raised in a Christian home and brought up in the truth, she had never before been challenged to study the Bible for herself.  At the end of the war, she attended a college retreat at Forest Home, that marked a major turning point in her life.   In her own words, “With the end of WW II one month earlier, I was faced with a dilemma: Should I continue with my good job at Lockheed Aircraft, or follow my dream of a college education with a major in art?  There were pros and cons on both sides.    Though I considered myself to be a Christian already, at the conference I was moved to commit my life to Christ, pray for guidance, and trust God to open doors.  Once back home, I learned it wasn’t too late to have my credits transferred from LA City College to UCLA and register for the fall semester.  I could afford it because UCLA was a no tuition school at the time, and I was able to find a part time job to help with college expenses.  My parents were supportive.  It seemed God’s will was now clear.  I was grateful and overjoyed!!

 “Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”  Psalm 37:5 had new and personal meaning for her.

She graduated from UCLA in 1948.  She would be a Bruin for life much to the dismay of the USC fans in the family.  Her training in the art department would lead to a life-long passion for art and great pleasure in sharing her artwork with others.  She returned to technical illustrating at Lockheed along with free-lance jobs.  It was at Lockheed that she was to meet her one true love. 

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Bill remembers meeting Louise…“We passed each other on a stairway and our eyes met.  A few weeks later we were introduced at the Lockheed Art Club exhibit.  I was supposed to take pictures of the winners in different categories so they could publish the results in the Lockheed Star newspaper.  Soon after we had our first date at a friend’s house.  It was dinner followed by viewing color slides of recent trips my friend and I had taken. I was attracted to her basic sweetness.  With Louise, it was always somebody else came first.”

They enjoyed ice skating lesson dates, dinner dates, and especially at a favorite restaurant on Riverside drive where they would talk about the Sunday sermon. 

They were married at Hollywood Presbyterian Church on February 3, 1950. 

Shortly after getting married, they spent a brief time in Menlo Park in the bay area. Bill remembers taking drives along the 17 Mile Drive along the coastline and take pictures.  Louise made paintings from some of Bill’s photographs of the windswept trees and the winds blowing off the ocean.  One such painting was a gift for her brother, and now belongs to her granddaughter, April.

For the next 34 years their home was in La Crescenta, California.  Their church home was La Crescenta Baptist Church.  They were blessed with two children, Laurie and Paul.  While raising their family they enjoyed many vacations in Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks and grew to love the beauty of God’s creation in that part of the country.  Louise enjoyed getting close to nature, hiking through the back country far away from the crowds.  The fact that she was a good sport made her a perfect wife for Bill who introduced her to backpacking, snow skiing, and camping.  She often brought along her sketchpad and paints and made these family adventures such fun with her cheerful attitude and willing spirit.  She would help her kids collect rocks, pine cones, and wildflowers to be pressed in the old Sears catalog she brought along.  Later they would be made into greeting cards.  She was curious about everything and always wanted to understand and learn.

In his late teens, Paul was killed in a driving accident.  This was a very painful time for Bill and Louise but they sought to find the purposes of God in the loss of their son.  A memorial fund was established to help provide rooms in a conference facility at Hume Lake Christian Camps which gave a small glimpse into the good that can come from a tragic situation.  The peace that passes understanding was given to them. 

Mom was a problem solver.  She could figure out anything.  I think this helped her with her homemaking skills, but more especially with teaching me to balance my checkbook, cooking, baking, and sewing.  No one made better pie dough, and when asked she’d say, ‘Oh, I just follow the recipe in the Betty Crocker Cookbook.” 

She was a very good listener.  I could solve most of my problems by “running them by mom.”  I think her occasional questions would help me come to a good solution.  Her creativity was everywhere.  Every Christmas she and my father designed original, personal Christmas cards.  As a kid I remember seeing the two of them silk screening the cards and they’d be laying all over drying between color runs.    For one birthday party, she made eight Barbie doll outfits for party favors. Her artistic touch permeated our home.  Beautiful paintings, hand sewn tablecloths and clothes.  She illustrated titles for my dad’s many films.  But the best thing about my mom was the way she loved Jesus.  She tried her hardest to live for Him.  She was everything a mother should be.  Compassionate, encouraging, resourceful, patient, a good teacher and so fun.

Louise became a grandma twice.  Sarah and April adored her.  Their strongest memory of Grandma is her joyful smile.  “She radiated joy in all seasons of life, knowing that God works all things together for good.  Grandma was FUN!  Whether bouncing on the trampoline, trying to teach us to “Charleston”, mailing us picture letters, or showing us a new parlor game, she loved to laugh and have fun with us.”  Sarah said, “Grandma was the most thankful person I have ever known.  She gave thanks for all things and saw God’s hand in each provision.  





As a Christian woman, Grandma grew more and more fervent in her love for God and His word.  Even into her 90’s, she studied her Bible diligently and shared God’s truth with others.  I want to be like her when I grow up.” April loves how Grandma never had a sense of entitlement.  Also, she always wanted to know about April and her family.  “I want the details” Grandma would say.  She admired that as a senior, Grandma never coasted spiritually, actively pursuing sanctification and knowing Christ more.” 

Bill and Louise retired to Bozeman, Montana in 1984 and spent 26 years, just north of Yellowstone.  It was a delightful location 20 minutes from town, with plenty of wildlife, wildflowers, and beautiful views of the Gallatin Valley.  They attended Grace Bible Church in town.  Louise hosted ladies groups so the new women could get acquainted with other ladies, and brought meals to those who were sick.  Eventually they moved into town and she attended a weekly ladies bible study in the neighborhood.  Their years in Montana were full of photography, paintings, craft fairs and art shows. 

She produced close to 100 paintings while living there.  When asked about her talent, she humbly said, “All creativity comes from God, and because we are made in His image, everyone is creative in one way or another.”

While living in Montana, Sarah and April both got married, and Louise became a great-grandma eight times over.   She absolutely LOVED each one, even though four of them were across the country in Florida.  Her great grandkids remember her as joyful no matter what.  When she could, she would read to them from the worn out Disney story book that she read to their mommies and grandma many years before.  “da Tar Baby” was the favorite of all.

In 2011 the Ransoms moved to California right across the street from Gary and Laurie.  They gave up their beautiful Montana to be near the family.  These last three years brought many physical limitations upon Louise.  Arthritis, failing eyesight, poor hearing, and heart problems, plagued her, but she didn’t complain, and nothing stole her joy and optimism.  She found satisfaction in simple pleasures like an email from an old friend, getting to know and love her caregivers, and reading her Bible.  Her love for Bill continued to deepen especially over the last few years. 

We are eternally grateful to God for the 91 years He gave our precious wife, mother, grandma, great-grandma and friend.  We will miss her terribly but rejoice that her best years are just beginning.  She is enjoying her Savior face to face and reunited with those who have gone before her.   Thank you Lord, for the life of Ella Louise Ransom.

I painted a bluebird on the box that houses her remains, for it reminds me of my mom's beautiful blue eyes, and the little bluebird family that lived on the porch of their Montana home. 

I painted a bluebird on the box that houses her remains, for it reminds me of my mom's beautiful blue eyes, and the little bluebird family that lived on the porch of their Montana home. 

 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

Honoring my mom was a joy, 

because she honored the Lord with her life.

 

"Ten Things About My Dad" by Sarah

Our daughter, Sarah, recently wrote to April and I with remembrances of their dad. She gave me permission to share them today.

Dear Mom and April,

 For a number of reasons, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I love so much about Dad.  So many thoughts were swirling around in my mind, I thought it would be nice to collect my favorites and get them written down. You both love him so much, I think you’ll enjoy thinking about these things as well.  God has indeed blessed us richly.  In these difficult days, I’m encouraged by Psalm 68:19 “Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation.”  He bears us up, He faithfully bears Dad up as well – sustaining and ministering to His soul in ways we can not. God has been so kind to us, given us so many sweet memories.  We have much to be thankful for. 

 

 

I love my Dad.  I am so grateful that God allowed me to grow up with such a Father.

There could be many more, but here are 10 things I love best about my Dad:

He is…

A godly Christian man -  FIRST and foremost, my Dad would describe himself as a sinner, saved by God’s grace.  This defines him best. So thankful for his Christian leadership.  He is a godly man - hungry for the word of God.  He’d sit at the breakfast table, Bible open, nearly every day.  It is a sweet memory in my mind.

A joyful man – enjoying life.  Life with my Dad was F U N!  He made our childhood so happy. Adventure, practical jokes, laughter… A treehouse with a zip-line so we could fly from the side yard, over the fish pond, into the front yard!  Fun times.  But even in the not-so-fun-times, during the trials of life, he kept smiling.  His face – filled with permanently etched smile lines proves it!  I’m thankful for my joyful Dad.

A working man - laboring with excellence, bringing glory to God in his work.  The slogan he chose for his electrical company was “service with a conscience.” He worked hard and he did it right!  He used his creativity at work and at home.  He’d embark on big projects that many would say “couldn’t be done” and then he’d go ahead and find a way to do it.  I often admire his attention to detail and the difficult tasks he would take on. He was a hard worker, but work didn’t dominate his life – he knew when to stop.     

A family man – investing time in his wife and daughters. This is a precious quality.  He spent TIME with us.  Not just quality time, but a quantity of quality time.  He took Mom on dates.  Even April and I got to go out on special dates with Dad.  I’m grateful.

A humble man – ready to serve, open to correction, ready to listen before speaking.  Dad was happy to serve behind the scenes without recognition. He didn’t seek attention and was content to do the menial tasks that not many people noticed.  He admitted his faults and shared his mistakes. He was humble enough to learn and gain wisdom from anyone who was speaking the truth – even when it was coming from someone younger than himself.  Even April and I were welcome to come to him and share a concern – and he would listen.  

A faithful man – with eyes and affections for one woman only.  His faithful commitment to Mom has always been evident.  Truly a one-woman-man.  His love, attentions, and compliments are strictly for her.  To him, she is the standard of beauty.

A bold man – unashamed of the gospel. He wanted everyone to know about God and their need for Jesus Christ.  I loved his license plate, “R U SAVED?” which prompted many gospel opportunities at gas stations while he was filling up his truck. Even in this final trial of life, his desire is to make much of Christ as he goes through the valley of the shadow of death.

A submissive man – submissive to God’s will for his life.  When trials came, he continued to trust the Lord, submitting his desires to the plan of God.  I’m grateful for this example. With Job, he would concur, “the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”

A content man – grateful for all of God’s gifts.  Dad could make much out of little and did not make it his ambition to own the next new thing.  I often remember him reading one of his favorite books, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. He finds satisfaction in God’s providence. 

A prepared man – ready to be with the Lord, eagerly anticipating His return. One look in my Dad’s Bible will tell any observer that he loved to study the book of Revelation and any passage describing the 2nd coming of Jesus…they are well marked and highlighted.  He’d often say “He could return today!” with a twinkle in his eye.  It was a real special treat to have this cheerful reminder spoken often throughout my childhood. His eyes have been fixed on eternity with His Savior for a long time.   

Thank you, God, for my dear Dad!

 

Sweet Times Cafe

Posted on the front door: Welcome to Grandma's Sweet Times Cafe.  Enter at your own dental risk.

Posted on the front door: Welcome to Grandma's Sweet Times Cafe.  Enter at your own dental risk.

Here's a simple, silly, idea for a little family theme party.  Last Friday night, we had our grandkids over.  I decided we should have a "theme" for the evening...

We have a mail slot right by the front door, where this sign was posted.  Ever since we've lived here, the little hands appear through the slot when the door bell rings.  This time, I placed chocolate chips in their hands. 

The four kids quickly discovered the evening was to have a "sweet" theme!  With dinner cooking, I started them on a scavenger hunt of sorts.  Nursery Rhymes with clues as to the whereabouts of hidden treats, were written on cut-outs from old magazines.  The older (Junior High aged) boys were nice to play along.  Their clues were harder. 

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SEW A FINE SEAM...

SEW A FINE SEAM...

Sweet, fruit bars were waiting to be found.   For instance:

"Pussy cat, pussy cat, wilt thou be mine?

Thou shalt not wash dishes, nor yet feed the swine.

But sit on a cushion and SEW A FINE SEAM,

And eat strawberries, sugar and cream."

The fruit bar was hidden away with my sewing machine in the closet. 

GRIND HIS BONES...

GRIND HIS BONES...

"Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum,

I smell the blood of an Englishman

Be he alive, or be he dead,

I'll GRIND HIS BONES to make my bread."

A food processor would be a good place to grind bones wouldn't it? 

 

 

 

 

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After the game, I got dinner ready, while the kids played "Pounce."

Dinner Menu:

SWEET Potatoes

SWEET and Smokey Chicken

SUGAR Snap Peas

Raspberry Trifle for dessert

 

 

For the evening's entertainment, in keeping with the SWEETNESS, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."  Gene Wilder is always funny and extra odd in this one, and the Umpa-Loompas were, well, memorable.  Chocolate rivers, golden tickets, and a bunch of really bratty kids, had us all laughing.

It just takes one simple idea, and then you can build a whole evening around it.  Print a little sign to hang on the door, to let everybody know something fun is going to happen.  Come up with a menu, and maybe a game of some kind and a movie.  Tie it all together around the theme, and there you have it! 

 

In

"Just Breathe"

“Take a deep breath, Mom.”  That’s what my son-in-law, Ryan said to me the other day.  It was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.  The afternoon had been chaotic.  On my way back from my chiropractor, where I’ve been getting a series of treatments for a very painful neck, I got a call from my sweet mother, who was being taken to the hospital from her own doctor’s appointment, by ambulance.  Her doctor was rightly concerned about her escalating symptoms, and she needed a higher level of care, and better diagnosis of what was going on with her heart.

When I received the call, I knew several things needed to be done.  My dad, frail himself, would need someone to stay with him for the rest of the day and overnight.  Gary can’t stay alone either.  It’s a blur to me now, but I DO remember spending time with my dad, comforting and praying with him, being on the phone for a couple of hours trying to line up care for my dad, and Gary, and locating mom’s purse which did not make it to the hospital from the doctor’s office.  Just like the recent earthquake, the accompanying adrenaline rush and problem solving began. 

This makes me laugh.  I saw this on a recent outing.  Reminded me of my posture BEFORE the visits to my chiropractor, Dr. Sawyer in La Canada!  He has really helped my neck pain! 

This makes me laugh.  I saw this on a recent outing.  Reminded me of my posture BEFORE the visits to my chiropractor, Dr. Sawyer in La Canada!  He has really helped my neck pain! 

Stressful things happen to everyone.  We try to manage the situation but it is hard to stay calm in the midst…  Ryan was here, helping out with my dad, and Gary that night, when he wisely reminded me to be calm and relax.  In recent weeks, my blood pressure has been acting up and I’ve been dealing with chronic headaches.  I’ve written about this before, but caregivers must be careful to do what they can to stay healthy.  The most common reasons I’ve heard for high blood pressure is stress and age.  Sadly, there’s nothing I can do about my age, and not much I can do about the stresses of life either.  It’s a fact of life that we are going to be assaulted from time to time with “troubles.”

I used to think Doctors were coping out when they blamed symptoms on "stress."  Not anymore.  When discussing my high blood pressure, my doctor brought up the burden of caring for Gary, and I said, "But I've been doing this for 8 years and never had any physical problems."  She answered, "Yes, but you're 8 years older now." 


Mom and I at the Christmas Concert, 2013

Mom and I at the Christmas Concert, 2013

Let me quickly interject that Mom is out of the hospital, and happily back home after a few days of testing and resting.  She is so precious to me.  I am grateful that God is keeping her great big loving heart going. 

 


I don’t know for sure if my health issues ARE due to stress, but they certainly draw attention to my “full plate.”  Doctors are telling me to manage stress, friends are really concerned and people I barely know are asking me if I’m feeling ok.  (I must look tired or something.)  So, I’ve been looking at how full my plate has been lately.  What's on the plate?  Increasing moments of sadness over Gary slipping away from me and the changes in his body.  My dear parents relying on my advice and help.  My artwork and the associated deadlines.  The daily tasks of life.  All while not feeling well.  I am not trying to be a superhero.  I’m just doing the “next thing” that needs to be done.  Whether brushing Gary’s teeth, going for a MRI, shipping a greeting card order, or picking up a prescription for a loved one, we do what we need to.  It’s our joy and privilege to help those we love, and keep things running smoothly.  You know what this is like. 

So we make changes if we can, and if we can’t we live with acceptance and flexibility   For those of us who are Christians, we trust that God is with us in the midst and has a perfect plan with our lives which we don’t always understand.  I want to live close to His side, abiding with him and drawing on His strength.     

The apostle Paul had way more troubles than I do but this is encouraging. 

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; WE ARE AFFLICTED IN EVERY WAY, BUT NOT CRUSHED; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-11

Practical stuff I'm doing:

New succulents for the patio.

New succulents for the patio.

SAY NO - Accept that I can’t do everything I want to especially when I don’t feel good.  I had to cancel our monthly ladies bible study group that meets at my house, to be moved elsewhere.  Even though I "could" have hosted them, I needed to rest. 

SAY YES -  to a change of pace.  I’ve been sprucing up our little patio a little bit each week.   It’s been a very nice diversion. 

SLEEP -  I’ve been trying go to bed earlier.  Thankfully, Gary is a good sleeper, unlike many with Alzheimer’s so my sleep has been sweet lately..  “I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.” Psalm 3:5

EAT HEALTHY -  Juicing anti-inflammatory vegies.  (Recently learned that stress causes inflammation.) I’ve been enjoying a spinach, carrot, apple, ginger combo.  The ginger makes it zippy but I like it.

Walking in our neighborhood.

Walking in our neighborhood.

RELAX AND BREATHE - Trying something new…diffusing essential oils.  Hoping they will help with the pain in my sinuses.  Our room smells SO good now.  (Eucalyptus, Peppermint and Lavender) 

EXERCISE - Even a 20 minute walk is invigorating. 

GO TO THE DOCTOR -  I’m having different tests and treatments to get to the bottom of these headaches.  So far, they are not abating, so will get a brain scan this week.

GET ALONE WITH GOD -  I’m talking to Him more than usual, (especially in the night) and enjoying my time alone with His word in the mornings.  Here's why... 

“We were made for Him, we are meant for Him, we have a correspondence with Him, and we will never come to rest until, like that needle on the compass, we strike that northern point, and there we come to rest - nowhere else.” D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones


Upside Down and Backwards

Ok, so it happened again.  Monday morning I went into protection mode.  As mommy or grandma being protective feels normal.  As a wife, not so much.  Here’s what happened.  I was sitting in the sunroom at 6:30 am, when the earthquake began, I got up and immediately went back into the bedroom to be with Gary.  In years past, I’d go to him so I’d feel safe by his side, but not today.  This time was different. 

5 Freeway at Newhall Pass - Northridge Earthquake 1994 (Photo by Gary)

5 Freeway at Newhall Pass - Northridge Earthquake 1994 (Photo by Gary)

Growing up in earthquake country, I am not shocked or panicked when one hits, but they still give me an adrenalin rush and spur me to action.  It’s amazing what you can process in just a few seconds.  “Is it stopping?  Is it strong?  Should I move to a doorway?  Where’s the safest spot if it gets worse?  Most of the time I end up feeling rather silly, because even though we do get occasional earthquakes here, they are not typically bad enough to cause any damage.  I did, after all, survive the 6.6 1971 Sylmar Quake (65 dead, 2000 injured), and the 6.7 1994 Northridge Quake (57 dead, 5000 injured).  I was 16 and 15 miles away, respectively.  For those, I felt justified in going to a doorway but our damage was limited to some dishes and pictures falling.  So on Monday morning, being 27 miles away from Westwood’s 4.4 earthquake, there really wasn’t much to write home about, but there’s always the adrenalin, and the not knowing how long, or how strong. 

Random Building, San Fernando Valley - Northridge Earthquake (photo by Gary)

Random Building, San Fernando Valley - Northridge Earthquake (photo by Gary)

In the middle of the Northridge Earthquake, I remember Gary taking charge, calling across the house to our daughters in the dark, telling them to stay in their doorway, (where they were hugging each other) and then stay in their rooms till they had shoes on because there was broken glass throughout the house.  Then he went out and checked the gas line, and gave us the all clear.  We all felt so safe with him watching over us.  But, this time, for the first time, I went into “protection mode.”  If it got worse I wouldn’t be able to move Gary anywhere quickly.  If the walls came crumbling down, we’d have to ride it out together, covered up with pillows and blankets.  I just knew I needed to be with him.  Not for my safety this time, but for his.  Now I’m protecting my husband because he’s defenseless. 

Gary and I experience many apparent “role-reversals” on a day-to-day basis.  It can be unsettling.  My world and how I function in it, has me feeling upside down and backwards.  Here’s how I’ve been working through the quakes of change again..

Gary has always been my protector.  No matter how we rearranged our bedroom furniture, where the sleeping bags were in the tent, or how hotel rooms were laid out, he always wanted to sleep on the side closest to the door.  When walking down a sidewalk, he’d move to the side nearest the street.  "The side of greater danger,” as he put it. 

2000 - Photo by April

2000 - Photo by April

One of Gary’s roles was to protect me.  God ordained that husbands “love their wives as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself up for her (the church).”  (Eph.5:25) What does it mean to “love a wife as Christ loved the church?”  Lots of things, but the main point, is to love sacrificially.  Jesus laid down His life for all who would believe and become His Church.  He died to protect them from eternal death.  For a husband to love that way, means he’ll protect her, get between his wife and harm, “take the bullet” for her, if necessary. 

My hero - 1976

My hero - 1976

So, I struggle with having to take on so many of Gary’s roles.  BUT, here’s the really great thing.  My primary role as wife is to be Gary’s HELPER.  When God made Adam, he decided that Adam wasn’t complete without a helper.  He made a suitable helper for man.  Woman.  (Genesis 2:18) Then he made them One, husband and wife.  What could be more HELPFUL than protecting a helpless husband during an earthquake? 

God never leaves me in a quandary.  His Word is all I need for navigation through this life and it does not contradict itself.


Just a note to parents…I can’t resist saying that our culture is frequently promoting ideals that are opposite from Biblical roles.  Women are doing the rescuing of the men in many movies and tv, and though I have nothing wrong with a woman learning how to defend herself, and doing so, beware the constant message we may be giving to our young ladies through the media.  Ever After is a movie that comes to mind.  Cinderella rescues Prince Charming from the thieves, and then rescues herself from the bad guy. Prince Charming shows up to say “I love you” but that’s about it.  There are media examples on both sides, but just be aware of it.  More and more, the roles are disappearing all around us, regardless of the standard set forth in God’s word which has not changed.

 

 

Practical Joking 101 - A Good Laugh

Last Friday some friends and I were laughing over some of Gary’s antics.  A good laugh is good for me right now, in the midst of some ‘darker’ days.  Since a “cheerful heart doeth good like a medicine” here’s 10 more… 

As we were all posing pretending to be "interested in something" off to the left, Gary looked the opposite way, just as the photo was snapped to point out the "fake" pose of everyone else.  It's not that great of a picture, but I've chuckled ev…

As we were all posing pretending to be "interested in something" off to the left, Gary looked the opposite way, just as the photo was snapped to point out the "fake" pose of everyone else.  It's not that great of a picture, but I've chuckled every time I see it.   (Zion National Park, 1977)

  1. Carefully place one of your dirty socks on your wife’s pillow once she’s asleep so it can be there all night.

  2. Tie a smoke detector in the engine area of your friends’ car so when up to freeway speed, the rushing air, sets it off, but stopped when they pulled over to figure out what the sound was coming from. 

  3. Place a brown, sheepskin on your back and while growling, crawl quickly into the kitchen where your mother is cooking dinner.

  4. When packing your daughter’s sack lunch, make their P.B.& J. on a hot dog bun to embarrass her.

  5. Put a “Bed Wetting Solutions” brochure on your friend’s car windshield in the church parking lot.

  6. While your wife is standing in the front yard, wait till someone is walking down the street, and shout “HELLO THERE” in a woman’s voice and then quickly duck behind the hedge so your wife looks like an idiot. 

  7. During your friends’ wedding reception, take a beanbag chair, and empty it in the “get-away” car, a VW. 

  8. Leave the following message on your friend’s phone machine: “This is the clinic calling, and your report was positive.  Please make an appointment to come in as soon as possible.”

  9. Bring a bag of black, plastic ants to weddings and nonchalantly place a few on the cake table.

  10. Put a rubber band around the kitchen sink spray nozzle to depress the button, so when anyone turns on the water they will get a shower. 

There’s plenty more AND a bunch of “Retribution Pranks” played on Gary too, for another time.  If you remember one, maybe you’d like to share it, if you’re not too embarrassed, that is. 

(Sing) "Tum-Tum-Ta-Tum"...39 Years Later

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Yesterday we celebrated 39 years of marriage... Family came over.  They showered us with flowers and cards.  We ate Tri-tip and BBQ Chicken.  Gary stayed in bed until everyone arrived at 5:00, so he'd be well rested for the evening and hopefully connect to the goings-on.  On the special days...it's easy to give in to pity parties, wishing things were different, but making a new memory is great medicine for me on Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas.  One thing I've learned over the last 7 years is that it is really important for ME to celebrate things REGARDLESS of Gary's ability to respond.  If he IS taking in his surroundings, then that's even better.

So, we had a party.  Gary opened his eyes once or twice during dinner while he munched his Steak, and Garlic Potatoes, but for the most part, he remained non-communicative.  Right after dinner we settled in by the TV so I could show everyone Gary's present from me.  I made him a DVD with the audio of our wedding with photos.  During the hours I spent putting together the video, editing the photos, and listening to the ceremony,  I was surprised by the effect it had on me. I was so happy, listening  to Gary repeating his vows.  I miss hearing his voice now.  I cried as I listened to the challenges laid out by our Pastor,  to love unselfishly no matter what.  I am faced with that choice every day.  My heart was flooded with gratefulness for 39 years.   Gary gave a gift to me last night too.  Toward the end of the video, he opened his eyes and watched for a few minutes, and even made some sounds, trying to speak.

Pastor Travaille prayed this poem for us.  God has truly answered this prayer for Gary and I. 

 

Oh Perfect Love

All human thought transcending

Lowly we bow in prayer before Thy throne

That theirs may be a love that knows no ending

Whom Thou forevermore doest join in one.

 

O Perfect Life

Be Thou their full assurance

Of tender charity and steadfast faith

Of quiet hope and gentle, brave endurance

With childlike trust that fears not pain nor death.

 

Grant them the joy that brightens earthly sorrow.

Grant them the peace that calms all earthly strife.

And may they ever know a faith in Christ as Savior

That dawns upon eternal love and life.

Through Jesus Christ our LORD

Amen

Dating - 1974

Dating - 1974

 Anniversary Celebration - 2013

 Anniversary Celebration - 2013

Lots of people ask me "How do you do it?"  "How do you stay joyful?"  Let me say that there's nothing special about Gary and I.  We made a promise to God, in 1974 in front of each other.  We prayed for God's strength and blessing, and we meant it.  We didn't know that I would get cancer, and then that Gary would get Alzheimer's, but we knew that no matter what, God would expect us to keep our vows.   And you know what?  He's the one that has made it happen.  Gary and I are just sinners, saved by God's grace.  My joy is not natural.  It's from Jesus' love for me, and the fact that we are just passing through this life.  Our marriage was grounded in that love.  I posted the wedding DVD I made for Gary if you want to watch the photos and listen to the ceremony.  Hopefully it will encourage you.  The music sound is distorted, but you can hear Pastor T, and us just fine.  It's 28 minutes long.  At the end is a doodle type note Gary wrote me just for fun. 

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Snowflakes and Me

Me and Snowflakes....we go way back.  Badger Pass at Yosemite sometime around 1956.  I still remember the big 3-D snowflakes on the front of the lodge. 

Me and Snowflakes....we go way back.  Badger Pass at Yosemite sometime around 1956.  I still remember the big 3-D snowflakes on the front of the lodge. 

Here in Southern California the forecast for today is: 73 deg.  Wishing we had a bit more of a typical winter here, I got to thinking about colder Christmases.  My dad and I were recently reminiscing about the coldest skiing experience we could remember and we agreed that it was at Bridger Bowl, Montana.  He was in his 80's at the time.  We were riding the lift together and absolutely miserable.  The wind was blowing right through our ski clothes.  I don't remember my dad ever being cold.  Growing up, he always tried to make my brother and I feel warm, and never complained about being cold himself.  He used to let me put my hands on his coffee cup in the lodge to warm them up.  One time when my brother and I were kids I remember crying as my toes thawed out at the end of a fun day of skiing.  It was in Aspen, Colorado, and there were ice crystals in the air.  It looked like glitter as I looked out the car window enjoying the heater.  Even my painful toes didn't stop me from taking it in.  I still remember how beautiful it was.  When snowflakes drift down and land on your jacket, they truly are beautiful.  Only in the really cold, do they last very long once they land.  I'm so glad I had the opportunity to see snow on the many ski trips we took.  I gained a healthy respect for the cold too, and the powerful changes that come with winter.

These amazing macro photos of snowflakes will blow your mind.  These beautiful creations require very cold temps. In fact, the photographer has to work fast to capture them before they begin to melt.  For centuries, it's not been possible to see the detail.  How wonderful that now we can see the intricacies.  I was reminded of the passage in Job describing God's powerful hand in the weather and seasonal changes.

"God thunders with His voice wondrously, doing great things which we cannot comprehend.  For to the snow He says, "Fall on the earth," and to the downpour and the rain, "Be strong."  He seals the hand of every man, that all men may know His work." 

"Then the beast goes into its lair and remains in its den.  Out of the south comes the storm, and out of the north the cold.  From the breath of God ice is made, and the expanse of the waters is frozen, also with moisture He loads the thick clout; He disperses the cloud of his lightning."

"It changes direction, turning around by His guidance, that it may do whatever He commands it on the face of the inhabited earth.  Whether for correction, or for His world, or for lovingkindness, He causes it to happen." Job 37:5-13

1977 Gary at June Mountain, California

1977 Gary at June Mountain, California

As you can see...Gary's had a few encounters with the little flakes too. Most of them had melted into his mustache and we always laughed at this picture. Though we'll never be snow-skiing again, we're still enjoying some big snowflakes that decorate our room in this crazy warm weather.  I had no idea that one day I'd be using an old college art project as a memory aid for my husband, whom I hadn't even met when I created it.  I hang these seasonal banners in our room to remind Gary what time of year it is so the "Winter" sign is temporarily pinned on. 

I never noticed it before today, but I think I must have been influenced by the blue snowflakes on the ski lodge as a little girl! 

1972 College design project - 2 dimensional design for use in my home, constructed. This winter banner is one of four.

1972 College design project - 2 dimensional design for use in my home, constructed. This winter banner is one of four.

Hand appliqued felt snowflakes. 

Hand appliqued felt snowflakes. 

Please know that Gary and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.

From our house to yours, we send our love.

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Watercolor Journal - Cherished Forever

Click on painting to enlarge.

"It will be cherished forever." That's what P.G. said when she received the painting last week.  It was a gift from her husband.  Hummingbirds and African Violets hold a special place in his wife's heart.  Why?  Her mother had loved them first.   Her mom is no longer here, but now, P.G. waters the same plants and treasures the glass hummingbird “sun-catchers” that hung in her mother’s window.  It was my privilege to create this painting, a gift from her thoughtful husband, to keep the memory of her mother fresh.

"Let me tell you it is the most beautiful gift I have ever received. It is a beautiful compilation of so many meaningful elements. Thank you for making (my husband's) vision a reality. it will be cherished forever!!!  It is truly a magnificent piece of art! I only wish my Mom was here to see it...she would love it as well."  P.G.

Thoughts on my own treasured mom...

This project gave me pause to think about my own mother.  In the winter of her life she is as beautiful as ever.  Thankfully, my mom lives within walking distance of me, so I can still enjoy her smile, and kind heart.

 

My mom and I getting ready for Easter. 

My mom and I getting ready for Easter.

 

Let me conjure up some memories of my own.  My mother delights in so many things.  She’ll try anything and is the quintessential “good sport.”  She’d jump on our trampoline, teach the granddaughters how to cha-cha, and reads Uncle Remus with the perfect accent.  Her mobility may be limited, but her mind is active, serving my father, reading the Bible, and keeping track of her great-grandchildren’s birthdays.  She always wore a brightly colored hat for road-trip photos because it was “photogenic.”  When she puts scotch tape on a Christmas gift, the ends are folded down on themselves so there are “pull-tabs” to make it easy to open.  She made all our Halloween costumes from scratch, every year, and at age 90, just made herself a new apron with bluebird fabric to remind herself of the bluebirds that used to nest in their eaves.  I already think of my parents whenever I see a bluebird.

The real gift here, is not the painting, but the cherished mom, who inspired it and like my client, my mental treasuries are full, and I love my mom.

 

"I gotta get me some SKILLS!"

Two big changes are on the horizon.  I am not looking forward to either of them.  One is going to happen quickly, like flipping a light switch off, and the other one is more like a dimmer switch, being turned up and down erratically.  The instant change is going to happen in about 2 weeks.  The other one has already begun. 

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Change Number One:

Our dear Jason, who has served us so unselfishly for 6 months, is going to be leaving.  His work needs are changing, precipitating his move back to Florida.  I can't say enough about his kindness to us by doing all the "heavy lifting" for me.  His jokes with Gary, his professional care for him, and the laughter will be missed.  He has become like one of our own. If you haven't read the amazing story of how he came to us, Click HERE. 

Becky and Karl, on one of their many walks with Gary. 

Becky and Karl, on one of their many walks with Gary. 

Change Number Two:

Gary's needs are changing too.  Alzheimer's Disease is different with everyone.  With Gary there have been some plateaus, but mostly it's been a steady progression of decline.  As the years have rolled on, (7+ now) the progression seems faster.  It has been a month since Gary has said anything to me.  He rarely looks at me.  He is only awake about 6 hours a day.  But the worse thing seems to be his balance, and maneuverability.  The mobility issues are having the biggest effect on me.  A person alone has a very hard time walking Gary from one room to another or helping him get seated.  Standing him up is lifting dead weight.  Once on his feet, he can go for a walk with support on each side, but inside the house, it's all scissor steps, distractions and confusion so a single person has a difficult time walking him. 

So Now What?

The caregiving is going to look different and the team is going to be bigger.  ("We're gonna need a bigger boat" JAWS)  I'm using the last couple of weeks with Jason here, to try several things.  He is helping me with the transitions.  We have new equipment, and procedures that I must get proficient with.  We are trying new schedules, by condensing activities.  I am trying new "locations" for Gary during the day.  Ironically, by trying out new methods, I'm getting sore muscles, or feeling overwhelmed because of all the wasted motions, or wrong way to do things.  I'm learning though,  by tweaking HOW I do things, and in what order I do them, it's getting easier every day.

Figuring Things Out

I thought some may be interested in the process so I'll try to share some of it with you.  If you have a loved one in an advanced stage of dementia, you may find it helpful, and if not, please pray for Gary and me.  I am in great need of wisdom and grace.

Rolled up blanket to simulate torso.  It's actually very comfortable and I think Gary enjoys riding in the "hammock." 

Rolled up blanket to simulate torso.  It's actually very comfortable and I think Gary enjoys riding in the "hammock." 

This is a Hoyer Lift.  It's the first one I've ever seen.  If I can get proficient using it, work out the logistics of where to keep it, how to move it around, and how to place Gary in just the right place on the "hammock", then I (or any caregiver) can use it to get Gary into and out of bed, and into a wheelchair.  Without it, you need two people.  (Tried it again this morning and it was much easier than last time!)

I still have a twin bed pushed up next to his.  I'm resisting moving them apart.  Love being near. 

I still have a twin bed pushed up next to his.  I'm resisting moving them apart.  Love being near. 

Gary's hospital bed is on the right.  He has actually had it for awhile, but now it's getting more use.  Giving him dinner in bed eliminates the long difficult walk to bed at night when he's sleepy.   I am learning to use the controls and the side rails to my advantage, to protect my back, and Gary as I help him with various things. 

In pulling up a movie for this photo I came across Driving Miss Daisy.  Well, as usual, it sucked me in and I've had it on in the background all morning, and yes, it still makes me cry at the end.  Especially now.

In pulling up a movie for this photo I came across Driving Miss Daisy.  Well, as usual, it sucked me in and I've had it on in the background all morning, and yes, it still makes me cry at the end.  Especially now.

This is a bed table.  We watch a movie, or live streaming with our dinner on the laptop.  Well, Gary listens, and I watch while I feed him, because he has his eyes shut during meals.  Don't know why, but I suspect it's too many senses going at once and he can shut out sight easily.  After he eats, he usually watches with me for about 30 minutes.  I treasure this time with him because we are doing something "together."  After I brush his teeth, I sit next to him on my bed, and work on a project or read till he falls asleep at about 7:00.

This is my pile of notes.  After a family conference a few weeks ago, we decided that I need to tackle 3 areas.   

1. Gary's well being.  What must be done, to promote his...

PHYSICAL comfort and safety

MENTAL stimulation, security, and relationships

SPIRITUAL life

2. Laurie's well being.   What must be done, to promote my...

PHYSICAL health

MENTAL stimulation, security, and relationships

SPIRITUAL LIFE

3. The finances needed to pull this off!  The Guys (sons-in-law), will help me figure this part out.

Next, I put an activity with each section.  For instance, for Gary's Physical comfort he does best with at least one 15 minute walk each morning, certain foods, and lots of naps.  To keep him safe, he can't be left unmonitored ever, and must always have 2 helpers for walking, etc. 

Time and schedules come next.  Once all our needs were written out, I needed to lay out a weekly schedule fitting caregiving into time slots. I've been brainstorming with our existing caregivers, about the changes I'm trying before I settle on a schedule.  My goal is to have the schedule figured out in a few days, so I can start lining up more help.

This is only a fraction of them. 

This is only a fraction of them. 

Getting there...but still using pencil so I can erase. 

Getting there...but still using pencil so I can erase. 

All For Good

We recently had a short visit from our daughter, April.  It was a precious time.   I don't know what I'd do without the help and encouragement of our family.  I am not in this alone.  I am confident that ALL these changes will work out for good for us.  I'm reading a great book on Romans 8:28 and plan to write a review for my Blog soon.  Being in the hands of God is a good place to be.  I'm just doing the next thing, which right now is to get Gary moved to the bedroom.  "Hoyer Lift, I will take charge of you!"

A couple times during April's visit we could tell Gary recognized her. 

A couple times during April's visit we could tell Gary recognized her. 

There was a special visit with my parents who live across the street.  Here's 3 of the generations together.  My dad's 95!

There was a special visit with my parents who live across the street.  Here's 3 of the generations together.  My dad's 95!

I had a wonderful time on my birthday weekend with Sarah and April at the beach for a couple of days. 

I had a wonderful time on my birthday weekend with Sarah and April at the beach for a couple of days. 

A Few Days Early - A Love Story (orig. post 2/9/13)

As I was leaving on my errands yesterday, Becky and Karl said..."We're going to let Gary rest up this morning, because we want him to be be wide awake for our outing today!"  "Oh, what are you guys going to do?" I asked.  "It's a surprise!" was the answer. 

So, I went on my way.  It was a super busy errand day, and took me 6 hours to get everything done.  I was pretty tired coming home with my car full of groceries.  Walking in, of course Karl unloaded the heavy bags for me as usual, and I gave a quick look at my napping husband, and put the cold things in the fridge.  I sat down to see the photos of the day, which Becky has ready for me when I get home.  She said, "Have you said 'Hi' to Gary yet?  He has something for you."

Back to the other end of the condo, I went, excited to see what on earth it was.  I couldn't imagine. 

Well, see for yourself:

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Gary had a card for me, clenched in his hand.  He was asleep, but holding it tight.

It started with a shopping trip to Stater Brothers.  Gary hasn't been inside of a grocery store in over a couple of years, so this was a BIG deal.  (The last time was in Trader Joes.  It was crowded, loud music, the toy train going around, and he actually said to me..."This is hard for me."  I never took him in a grocery store again.)

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A Love Story Lily - FOR ME!​

Karl picked out some red tulips for Becky and Gary enjoyed feeling the leaves while Karl picked out some corn on the cob.  

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The candy by the check out line attracted his attention.  He was always one for the impulse items. 

Gary pushed the cart himself, navigating quite well, with little assistance.  Both Karl and Becky were surprised by this.  

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Then when they got home, Becky said she handed Gary a small tipped Sharpie and he very carefully and diligently wrote me a note and signed it 'deliberately'.  (If you could see what he normally does with a pencil, you would see how different and special this is.  He did not chew on it, scribble with it or use it as screwdriver.)  She used my name often throughout the whole morning, and she and Karl were convinced that Gary understood what he was doing, picking out a Valentines flower and card for me.  He was "taking it all in."

Someone recently said to me that it is clear that I truly love my husband.  Yes, it's true ant the last few years have increased that love. 

There was a movie from the 70's called "Love Story"  it had one of the stupidest lines I've ever heard.  "Love means never having to say you're sorry."  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Love means "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19.  Gary and I love each other because Jesus Christ is the dominating force in our lives.  I am so thankful today.  For Jesus, Gary, and our sweet friends and care givers, Karl and Becky, for making our 2013 Valentines Day so special...a few days early.

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The Last Three Weeks (orig. posted 1/20/13)

Three weeks into the new year I have a few random newsy items for you.

Jason is a HUGE blessing.  Gary has adjusted beautifully to Jason's help throughout the week.  My back is feeling better and I'm able to run across the street and do things with/for my parents more often, now that Gary is not alone.  An added benefit, I didn't anticipate, is that with Jason here there is more going on, and more conversation to listen to. 

Gary and Jason

Gary and Jason

Enjoying the Master's College Campus

Enjoying the Master's College Campus

​More news.  Gary's been talking (and trying to talk) more.  He has said a few short sentences in the last few weeks.  They are in context, if you consider his wit.  Sometimes, when asked a question, he looks into my eyes and moves his mouth/lips.  I don't know what he's saying but he's trying to speak.  It's hard to explain, but I can see the twinkle in his eye and we make a connection.  It lets me know that he's ok. Sometimes he says "That's Right."  or "Yep" when I'm talking with someone else or on the phone, like he's trying to participate in the conversation.  Becky and Karl got Gary a root beer the other day, and when they asked him if he liked it he said, "Always!"  I don't know the reason, but several things may be making a difference...We've cut back a bit on some of his medications for various reasons, and maybe he's feeling better over all, or more alert.

A visit from our good friends, John and Stacy

A visit from our good friends, John and Stacy

At Christmas our friends John and Stacy paid us a wonderful visit.  We see them so rarely, but Gary and John have been such good friends for so long, that I KNOW he enjoys hearing John's voice and we really had fun this year, as John was telling fun stories of all the practical jokes he and Gary played on each other during the "Gary Price Electric" days.  Gary watched John and was listening as he told the stories, and it was a true joy to see. 

One last thing...Ever since we moved into our condo, I wanted to change the paint and put some plants in our Atrium.  It is a little patio within the walls of our condo, which is open to the sky.  It has been a very ugly "institutional" green.  Between Christmas and New Years I finished painting it and added some of our Cymbidium orchids which we brought from Sunland.  The fountain was a present from Jon and April for my birthday.  I want to do more out there, but for now, every time I walk by the opening, it makes me smile.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I'm Amazed...let me tell you what's up!

Certain events become "milestones" in our lives.  You know... like the birth of a child, death of a loved one, marriage, etc. Then there are other events that, while on the surface, may be only be mildly interesting, but the "back story" reveals their deep significance.  I have been SO EXCITED to tell this story but had to wait until this weekend.  You'll see why if you read on.

To tell it right I have to back up a couple of years and explain.

In 2007 Gary was diagnosed with Dementia due to Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease.  Over the next few years, as his disease progressed, and we learned more of the typical path ahead of us, big decisions were made.  In 2009 we decided it was best to sell our Sunland home and "downsize" to a more manageable place that would suit our coming needs.  The next summer, we moved to our new home, a condo in a 55+ community in Santa Clarita.  That was in May of 2010.
 

Moving Day - May 2010
From the beginning of our journey, in 2007, my heart's desire was that I could keep Gary with me for as long as possible, and hopefully all the way to the end of his earthly life.  I wanted to be the one to manage his care and this is much easier with him at home.  As his body and mind would decline, I knew I would need more help (see related post), and so when I knew we would be moving, I began to look for something very specific.  A condo so I'd have no yard work, one story for obvious reasons, and most importantly...an extra bedroom and full bathroom to eventually be used for a live-in caregiver when things got beyond my physical abilities.  Many of you have been here and know what a nice home God provided for us which fulfilled these needs, and has a beautiful view to boot!

Our Condo since May 2010
So, since we've been here, I've been asking God for just the right person at just the right time to move in to that room.   Several months ago it became apparent that I needed much more help and so I began adding to our "team" of caregivers.  They are here at specific blocks of time on 3 days a week.  On 2 days I run errands and have appointments, and on Sunday I go to church.  That works out perfectly, BUT, what about the sporadic help I need throughout the other days.  I don't need help 24/7 because 90% of the time, Gary is content to sit in his recliner and listen to music or work with his "projects."   But when I DO need to move Gary to the restroom, or in or out of the car, or getting ready for bed, or up in the morning, my 59 year old body is getting hurt.  My back and shoulders tell me that I am doing too much; the wheel chair is too heavy to load and unload from the car, Gary's "scissor stepping" and balance issues cause ongoing shoulder pain, and dressing/undressing makes my hands hurt because of his upper body strength which he uses to grip the fabric, and resist bending or straightening his arms. 

I know... lots of detail here...but you'll see why...read on.

Tightly gripping hands
At a family strategy meeting in July, as we were figuring out how much additional care giving we'd need, I was asked, "What would be your perfect scenario, Mom?"  I said,  "What we really need is a young man with a strong back who can help with sporadic physical and personal needs throughout the day...10-15 minute segments and then go.  It doesn't make financial sense to hire someone to be here all the time, since caregivers need a 3 hour minimum and they'd be sitting twiddling their thumbs 90% of the time."  Well of course that seemed impossible.  The timing seemed right for a live-in helper, but we couldn't even think of the right type of person.  A student would be gone too much.  A retired person likely lacks strength.  The Lord had provided the room, but who could fill the bill?  We ended the discussion with "We'll just have to keep praying about it, and see if the Lord will work it out."  About that time, our friend, Gretchen, suggested we look for someone who worked from home.  I continued to pray for this as well. It probably goes without saying, but in order for someone to live with us in our home, they need to be trustworthy. 

Support Needed


Ever since God saved me I have loved talking to Him.  He hears me.  He cares.  I tell him everything.  I ask forgiveness when I sin and I praise Him for His wonderful doings.  I ask Him for things that arise up from my desires, but I don't expect Him to provide them if they are not good for me.  I may not see the specific results, but I am convinced that He is attentive and doing thousands of seen and unseen things all the time everywhere.  He is particularly attentive to our cries for help when we entrust the results to His wise, kind, just and loving care.



The family strategy session was in mid-July.  4 days later, I got a call from our daughter in Florida. It went something like this:
 


April:  "Mom I want to tell you something.  Do you remember meeting Jason?" 
Me:  "Yes, I've met him on one of our visits there, but don't really know him."  (He was one of the young men in their church and a good friend of our son-in-law.) 
April: "You know, he follows your blog, he's been praying for you and Dad, and he told us that he would really like to come out to California to help you both.  He wondered if you'd like him to do that?"
Me:  Stunned Silence.  
Me:  "He wants to WHAT?
April:  "You should talk to him.  You'd really like him and he's so responsible and loves the Lord.  He's a really neat guy."
Me:  "Did he know we were praying for someone like him?"
April: "No."

Gary's interestd in  the garden, but can't get back up.


So since July, Jason and I have been shooting emails back and forth, working out the details of how things will work, but to get to the point, he is on his way RIGHT NOW, from Florida to move in with us this weekend.  I have been waiting to share this amazing news until he's on the road since things can always change, but as of now, he's in Texas, and on a course, set by the Lord to be our help and encouragement.  



If you think God is vague and generally disinterested, or too busy to notice the specifics, get this:


Jason has been a CNA. (Certified Nursing Assistant)
Jason has a full-time job which he does FROM HOME!
Jason loves Jesus.
Jason has is considerate and responsible.
Jason is young and strong.
Jason is willing to exchange rent for care.
AND...most amazingly...It was our dear Lord that prompted Jason to want to come and serve us!  Not me or anyone else!

Of course things may change.  I don't know how long a time Jason is going to be a part of our home and lives.  But God is sovereignHe is Large and In Charge.  This is God's story, not mine.  He can do as He pleases, and I trust Him.   Whether long or short, the HUGE lesson I have learned and will NEVER forget,  is that "God is intimately acquainted with all my ways." as He says in Psalm 139.

"The Lord will accomplish what concerns me..." Ps 138:8

"In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God for help;  He heard my voice out of His temple, and my cry for help before Him came into His ears." Ps. 18:6

"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.  He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;  I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation."
Ps. 91:14-16

God is REAL folks. Take Him at his word.  

Gary at Descanso Gardens



And Now For Something Completely Different

Last weekend, I did something I have never done before.  Sarah and I went on a Mother-Daughter get-away to Newport Beach.  We had some rules...no food preparation whatsoever, (not even coffee) and no discussion of anything "stressful."  I'll let the photos do the talking...












 It was a rainy day, but we didn't care!




























We went to Fashion Island, hoping to see "Lincoln" but it was sold out so we saw it later that night.  This shopping center is BEAUTIFUL and the fountains are fascinating. 




The next morning, we walked around Balboa Island, inspired by the well-loved cottages, and the unique shops.  As you can see the sun was out.  It was a beautiful day.  We did some "tasting" in the olive oil shop, and got a kick out of their wild looking pastas.  (We weren't able to take photos in there, or I would have.)  There was a black and white stripped pasta that was made from squid ink.  ok. Oh, and Christmas shopping too. 













Of course there is a Starbucks and in the background, "Ciao" Italian cuisine, where we ate lunch. 






When I was a kid, my friend Jenni used to invite me to join her family for a week on Balboa Island.  Seeing the candy store brought back so many fun memories with them.  We used to walk or ride bikes over to this street from their vacation house, and buy frozen bananas, or ice creams, and then ride the ferry to the fun zone at Newport in the evening.  Such freedom!  It was a different world back then, but even now, Balboa Island seems pretty much the same. 






 All dressed up for Christmas!






This yard decor was right on a prominent corner.  
Obviously important to the owners.















As we walked to breakfast, the owner was painting over the Halloween colors on their clock.  On our way home, it was completed and all ready for Christmas.














View across the Harbor










Do we look rested?  We are!  We really enjoyed our adorable little cottage. 

















Some friends suggested we eat at the Beachcomber.  This was memorable, and will draw us back again.  






It's an area near Newport that was built in the 20's.  You park on PCH, and walk or ride a shuttle to Crystal Cove.  The little beach cottages are still available to rent, and they are right at the beach in Crystal Cove.  A few of them have been restored and preserved as a little historical "museum."  There were artists at work, and crafts to participate in.  





It was a special day, because Santa was coming to Crystal Cove. 








Only in California...











This is the patio of the Beachcomber restaurant.  See how close it is to the Beach and the Tree, and Santa's house, and everything.  The ocean is RIGHT THERE.  I hope I can go back again someday. Lunch was wonderful too, but alas, it was time to go to get back to our loved ones. 







We had a fantastic time, talking, talking and more talking.  Quality time with my oldest daughter, was so wonderful, and we both agreed that we needed to have April with us too.  She of course is in Florida and was running a half marathon on this weekend. We talked about her if that counts, :)  and laughed about so many fun memories.  Knowing that Gary was well cared for made it possible for me to relax and enjoy, and the time away was like medicine for my emotions, and even though it was a "new" kind of trip, I'd like to call it the "first" of many such mini-vacations for me.  

I thanked the Lord when I arrived home, for this wonderful time.


Watercolor Journal - "Miss Liz"


My daughter commissioned me to create this "thank you" gift for a very special lady.  Lizanne Blake is the very talented speech therapist who helped my grandson learn to speak.  To our family it's simply "Miss Liz".

One to two times a week for several years a highlight of the week was the visit to her office.   On one of our visits, I got to go along.  Not only did she have the coolest toys to play with, but she would get down on the floor in the midst of the boys and toys to play with them.  I enjoyed seeing how she used the playtime to draw out and emphasize certain sounds needed for speech.  "Good Talking, Micah!"  "He's making all the right sounds, April" she would encourage.  Then eventually the words came, and today, he is speaking fine.  When I Skype the boys, to read them their weekly story, our once "speech delayed" boy, will tell his stories to me.  That's music to my ears!  He doesn't need to go to Miss Liz anymore, but he misses her.  I'm happy I could have a part in this gift, because I want to say a big grandma THANK YOU to Liz Blake.
"We love to go to see Miss Liz!" 
The painting was approx. 10" X 20" and here's a close up of the background for those of you who like to see the details:


Watercolor Journal - Celebrating Pink

 I have to admit that painting a monogram with cherry blossoms for a little girls room was especially fun for me.  Now pink always makes me think of girly things, like dollies and fairies, and princesses.  Cherry blossoms are the most perfect naturally occurring pink I can think of.  (The mom who bought this painting very kindly mentioned it on a parenting blog she contributes to. There's lots of good ideas at this blog, for you moms out there. Click HERE to see the photos and how nicely it is framed.  The photo is 3rd from the end.)

It was a privilege to raise 2 daughters, and as I was working away on this painting, which was special ordered for a "Pink Nursery" I kept thinking about our daughters.


Sarah with Holly Hobbie
April
When I was pregnant, before the age of ultrasounds and finding out the sex of your child ahead of time, Gary had been very vocal about wanting a boy, that is until the Dr. handed him our little Sarah.  Everything changed in an instant.  He was now a father of a girl, and soon would have 2.  He never looked back with any kind of regret not getting a boy.  He took our daughters on dates, to the Hello Kitty store, taught them to let a man hold the door for them, and was their protector.  He even got down on the floor to play My Little Ponies, on occasion. 
I loved sewing dresses for them, and having them help me make cookies, and all those typical things, but they knew how to climb up in the tree house too, and ride the zip line to the front yard.  And as you can see, one of them even liked to cuddle frogs. 
 Our girls to this day, are the best of friends, but their personalities are as different as night and day.  That may be the reason...  They have their own families now, and have supplied Gary and I with 6 grandsons and 2 granddaughters.  Since I just finished making another memory book for my husband, Gary, who has Alzheimer's,
these photos were fresh on my mind.  I couldn't resist sharing...

Sarah in the rain

A visitor in our fish pond
Who needs a dolly






Remembering

(Sorry  if this is a duplicate for you, but I made a boo-boo and had to republish this post.)

As I said in the last post...I am enjoying the recently digitized treasure of Gary's photos from the 60's.  Now that they are digital...there's so much we can do with them!

Thanks, April and Jon!


We received a photo frame from our kids at Christmas.  So I loaded some of Gary's childhood photos onto a memory card, and then plugged it into the frame.  (Forgive the detail, if you already know about these...but I can't help being excited!)  





I love how they cycle through as in a slide show.  Mine are set for 30 second intervals.  The image is about 5" X 7".  (Vertical photos are smaller, but the frame can be turned on it's side if more are vertical.)





Frame is bigger than appears here.
I had this frame sitting around different places in the house, for several weeks, and could never interest Gary in it, until last week.  I put it on the counter, right in front of where he was sitting and he began watching.  I even saw a smile for a little while.  For an Alzheimer's mind, the slow rotation was great. 



Eye level is best.
 Since the long term memories are the last to go, I think he was really enjoying remembering his family's many water skiing vacations, family pets, and projects.  He didn't loose interest for at least 30 minutes.




Last fall I got started making "Memory Books" for Gary.  I've made several, and they are all of our own family photos, scanned from slides from the 70's and 80's.  Now that I have Gary's photos, I intend to make some more memory books for him. For more detail on these...click:  My post about Memory Books

I think the single most frightening thing about Alzheimer's Disease is the loss of memory.  Not just how to tie your shoes, or what you just said, but who you are, and where did you come from.  The confusion that results from not remembering things.  With memories disappearing, I am so glad for digital photos! They are helping to give Gary comforting images to reassure his mind. They also give him something to focus on.

A friend got me thinking today about how God remembers us.  With Gary 'forgetting' so much, I'm glad she brought it mind.  My friend prompted me to think about the following:
  1. We may forget everything, but God will not forget us. "Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.  For He Himself knows our frame; He remembers that we are but dust."  Psalm 103:13-14
  2. God does NOT remember our sins, since our lives are hidden with Christ in God. "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins." Isaiah 43:25
  3. Now is the time to be thinking about God because life is fleeting, like the vapor on a cup of coffee and no one knows if or when they will not be able to.  "Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, 'I have no delight in them.'" Ecclesiastes 12:1 Here's a great message on this by Rick Holland
 Gary may forget ALL things.  God will not forget him.

"Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be.  We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.  And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure." 1 John 3:2-3

Gary's World in the 60's

Recently, my friend Glenna, helped me by scanning hundreds of our 35mm color slides to make digital copies.  This project resulted in some very special photos from both sides of our family, going back to the mid 60's.  Gary's childhood and teen years were so fun to look at, because I had only seen a few of them.  I couldn't wait to post some just because...

Gary got his first ( but not last) ticket for riding his illegal bike on the street.
His dad allowed him to dissect an engine.

Gordon and Gary, before the dance lessons.


I don't know what I think about this.

Gary's beautiful English mother, Rachel


 The Prices visit Boulder Dam.

1966 Fashion

Yellowstone Bear Jam...used to be a common occurrence back in the day.
At the B&W Resort in the Sacramento Delta area

The most Price Family photos by far were devoted to waterskiing and boat building.  The Price family built their own jet ski boat, one of a couple built with a friend who was hoping to manufacture them.  Later Gary's dad gave us the boat, and oh the fun we had with it.  I'm including just a few of these boat building photos.  If you get bored...just scroll down to the very last one!  It's my favorite of the entire box of slides!

Gary's dad, Tom Price builds a boat.

Plywood and Fiberglass

1-2-3 Lift

Gary said he and his brother, spent days and days, sanding the surface.



Maiden voyage at Hansen Dam Lake!
Two years later, finished.


Gordon and Gary take her for a ride.

Heading home, with boat in tow, in the bed of the pick-up, Gary inspects his guns.



"Boochie" Bunny

“Boochie”

More about my plans for this bunny painting in another post.

In case you were wondering, my latest watercolor is "boochie."  This little bunny is "boochie" according to my granddaughter.   She has coined this word which is defined as follows:

Boochie is an adjective that describes a person or animal.  They must be small with chubby cheeks, and have a cute face.  So, some babies are boochie, as are some small animals.  Many baby animals qualify as well, such as baby skunks, raccoons, chipmunks, penguins, seals, and of course, bunnies.  Boochie, does not necessarily mean "soft", and in fact may even be prickly, as a hedgehog or porcupine.  (as long as it's cute)

The first time she used the term was when she first saw her little cousin.

 He takes after his mother, who was also boochie.

April (one year old)

Last week, when she was beating me at the Mother & Baby Animal Memory Game, she "schooled" me on which ones were boochie as well.

All babies, except the mama bunny who is also boochie.

Beating Grandma at Bob the Builder Memory Game (Why do I keep these humiliating games around?)

And just because I couldn't resist...here's some more of my boochie grandson!

Happy Springtime everyone!  

"This is the day that the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it!" 

Psalms 118:24